A Word Art and some photo edits. :)

VMAs

Gah. I went. They were so amazing and memorable. And so great. I'll stop there. :)

:)

I truely cannot be happier right now.

Life is amazing.

Fearless Tour - Mohegan Sun

Night number two. I wish this night would never end. Once again it was beyond amazing. I'm so proud of her.

Cause I don't know how it gets better than this...

OH. MY. GOSH.

FEARLESS WAS AMAZING.

We got back like 20 mins ago and I'm like...shaking. It was better than I thought. I can't talk becuase I was screaming singing so loud. We ended up being first row in like the middle of the catwalk and that was soooo cool. :) I'm gonna break it down. Five things per person so I don't ramble much....which I will. haha.

GLORIANA:

1. Oh my Gosh. I wasn't expecting them to be that great. But I am thouroughly blown away.

2. The Way It Goes is officially my new favorite song.

3. Rachel is beautiful.

4. They relate so wonderfully to the audience. They connect and that's great.

5. I'm sad their set was only like 4 songs. Boo.

KELLIE PICKLER:

1. I don't really like her but now I love her.

2. HER SHOES WERE SO AMAZING. ajsghajoughoeiguh I can't even describe the awesome level they had.

3. Uhm....I'm ending with three. "I Wonder" is now my second favorite song. It was so beautiful and amazing and I just loved every second of it. So much emotion and ahhh, it was amazing. :)

TAYLOR SWIFT:

1. Best live that I've heard her out of all the award shows, Today show, and other concerts. :) She's growning up and her voice has to.

2. I cried twice when she sang. Once during "Fifteen" (me and Kelli's song) and once during "Tim McGraw" as she sang "and when you turn New York radio on, I hope it takes you back to that place" becuase that song got it started for me and to see her headlining a sold out show at Madison Square Garden is just...beyond words.

3. Change was amazing live. So great.

4. Watching Taylor touching both of my little sisters hands and them looking at me with the most amazing faces and me getting a picture of it happening. And Isabella hugging me as we were getting in the cab to go home and saying "You're the best sister ever." And that made me cry again.

5. Just every second of it. She never hit a bad note. She sang everything wonderfully, connected with the audience great. I don't know what I was expecting but I am blown away.

I cannot talk at all and I have to be up at 8 to bring my sisters home and go to Connecticut. I can't believe I get to do that again tomorrow. I'm more excited for time number two that I am for number one. I don't know how I'll be able to sing along though. Haha. Oh and the pictures were taken on a regular digital camera and on my iphone so some kinda suck. :D

Umm A mix of odds and ends.

Basically I'm only blogging because I need to clip in something for someone for polyvore. :)

Umm. I'm feeling pretty great about life recently. I've been counting down the days to the weekend of the F E A R L E S S tour. YESSSSSS. Cue high pitched squeel. In exactly one week from now I'll be able to touch the stage and I'll have seen Gloriana and be seeing Kelli Pickler. I'll be able then, probably in about a week from fourty five minutes from now I'll be singing You Belong With Me on the top of my lungs wiht my five year old twin sisters and Katie.

You have no idea how bad I'm freaking out about this. I've been counting down since March(?) and IT'S FINALLY HERE. Expect about eighteen thousand pictures up by next Sunday.

I'm beyond thrilled that it's finally here and that it's finally happening. And what's even better is that I get to see it twice. The first night I'll probably be in total awe and crying and etc. And the next day I'll be able to soak it in and enjoy it and not be a total spazz.

Three years ago I was listening to "Tim McGraw" and never imagining she'd become this big. Madison Square Garden is HUGE. And I still cannot believe that she's on her first headlining tour and at a place this huge that sold out in a minute. I feel like a proud mama. To her, this has to be so surreal. Anyway...I'm gonna stop rambling.

ahh, life.

I've spent about one wonderfully amazing month here in Maine. From the 2 minute walk to the ocean and the sound of waves out my window when I sleep to the endless icecream possibilities. Everything has been so great. I'm sad to leave on Tuesday night.

We've spent the last week with some friends and every second there has been laughter, smiles, fighting over wether to watch Shark Week or What Not To Wear, and just everything has been so great. I've honestly never been happier. And I love to say that and I love to feel it.

And the best part is, I love that it shows. I don't have to force or fake anything anymore. And that makes other people happy too. Like Katie, she's had so many issues in this last year that I wouldn't have been able to handle, but today on the beach she just put her chin on my shoulder and her arm around me and said "I'm happy to have my best friend back." And that made me cry, because I spent a good three or four months of my life wasted and I regret that deeply.

I'm stopping now because I'm gonna take a walk with my girlies (Tobie -Ethan's sister/bestfriend, Katie (bestestfriendever), and Annika (bestfriendmadeatNYU)). Walks on the beach at night are the best becasue you find the best shells and its empty and it is beautiful. Look at the moon. It's stunning.

song i wrote with katie

J U S T M I G H T

Just might go ahead
Let the sand run out
I'm gonna scream and shout
Just might forget about you
Loose my head
But instead
I'm gonna hold on to myself
And let you go now
I just might forget about you

Take some time to look back
On the days we said
Things we can't take back
But now oh now
I just want to hold on
But I...

Just might go ahead
Let the sand run out
I'm gonna scream and shout
Just might forget about you
Loose my head
But instead
I'm gonna hold on to myself
Let you go now
I just might forget about you

Just might go ahead
Let the sand run out
I'm gonna scream and shout
Just might forget about you
I'm gonna try not to loose my head
And prevent this breakdownI
Scream and shout
To let you go now
I can forget about you
Forget about you now.
Oh I just might forget about you
I just might.....

Heartbreak

Why do boys do bad things?
Why do boys hurt beautiful girls who've been through enough?
Better yet, why do boys who seem like good boys cheat on good girls?

This is what I've been asking myself since yesterday. So let me tell you a story.

Once there was a beautiful girl with smooth chocolate-y skin and a beautiful smile. She was confident and true to her words. She loved her friends and would be their for their tears and force laughter and smiles when they really needed it. Then, when she was 13, her parents got divorced, she moved away from the city she grew up in and her dad moved too, meaning....she never got to see her friends who got reallly selfish about that (and still are) and then her mom began verbally abusing her and her little sister. But they stayed strong. This girl helped raise her little sister because her mother basically couldn't. Then, at age 17, she helped a girl who couldn't always find a smile get through the worst and told her she was beautiful when she was bald and rubbed her back when she puked from the chemo. She did what others couldn't do. Then this friend passed, and we had to deal and we did, she did better than me but we got through it and came out stronger with a purpose to live. Then, this past December, this abuse got even worse with her mothe, so she made the decision in the middle of her senior year to take her sister and move to Boston...a hundred or so miles away from her mother becuase it became too much and she needed to. Then, when she was there, she was happier than ever. Her sister made good friends, she made good friends. And then, when she turned 18 in April, she met this great guy...a junior at her school. They went to prom together, and then, her best friend AKA ME, met him and approved. He was the nicest guy, sweet, adorable. They shared three weeks in Germany with thier schools exchange this July and June and then, a week after they get home...

BAM. She sees him cheating on her. Like that, everything good about this boy becomes bad. And it just makes me so mad that, someone who knew all of that, would go and do that to her. It's not right. It makes me so mad.

So today she came up and we went for a long walk on the beach and hung out and baked and blasted revenge songs (the best ones "kerosene" and "picture to burn") and we danced and screamed the lyrics. Just had some good girl time.

She's just so heartbroken and I wish I could do more to help her. Make it all feel better. But I can't. I don't think nothing can.

Oh yeah....we wrote a really really great guy-trashing breakup song. Well, a few songs...but one good one. Haha.

HARRY!!!

So I chose the best of my premiere pictures. I didn't try to take pictures in thier faces as that's kinda rude. So here's pictures from like a week ago. :D

picture from Leaky. my pics will be coming as soon as possible. right now my camera isn't acessible and I want a chance to pic the best ones. :D

I woke up at 3 am this morning. I love Emma's dress. Everyone looked so great. Yesterday was amazing. So great. I can't believe it acutally happened. Harry Potter was the first book I read in English entirely by myself in second grade. English. I've grown up with it and it's like a friend to me. I've watched these actors grow up and these books have been there when I didn't have anyone.

OH LANCE! I forgot about him. I left with my sister around 4 to get dressed for the movie after since we were in sweats and stuff. And I came back with a little wristlet clutch and Lance Bass came by and I didn't want him to sign the poster I had, so he signed my clutch. My inner twelve year old was freaking out and crying uncontrollably at the fact that his hand was touching me. I held it together though. I did tell him that I missed Nsync. :D

Umm redcarpet was amazing. I got pictures of everyone. Everyone was beautiful. And autographs from as many as possible. And I took a picture with Emma Watson which cut off like half my head but whatever. I told her I loved the Burberry Campaign and the TeenVogue cover (which if you haven';t seen it, it's stunning along with the spread. Actually her first cover on TV was the first one of those I ever got and it will also be my last becuase I haaven't renewed my subscription.) and that's she's beautiful and each movie she's becoming a more talented and graceful actress.

Now for the part that you really want to know. The Movie. It was AMAZING! Best one yet. The opening scene is amazing. And it's a bit slow for a while but the end...OH MY GOSH. The inferi are perfect. And everything is great. I don't like that they added in the Burrow getting attacked but whatever. I cna't change it. QUIDDITCH IS PERFECT AND AWESOME. and I really really really missed it. Oh...and the kiss between Harry and Ginny could have been so much better. :( I don't know how much more I can say without getting taken away by the dementors (WB) for saying to much. But I will be seeing it again next Wednesday. Everyone must see this. It is so great.

I really really really am so blessed and I am so happy. Last night was better than seeing Taylor in May. :D And that's something that I thouhgt I would never ever say.

Music!

Okay...so I've come to the realization that I will probably never be able to sing as good as I used to. And that makes me sad. Whatever. Next video I do is gonna be me just singing a medly of my favorite Broadway stuff. :D Ehhh, these today I realized my voice still sucks but it sounds okay.

Anyhoodles, I'm just gonna paste in a link to my youtube channel since I did like 4 videos. Three Taylor Swift (just because they are easy) Cold As You, Tim McGraw, and Our Song. & One All Time Low which is Weightless.

Remember the rule: If you watch this, you must comment. Here, there, or send me a message on twitter. Just so I know.

http://www.youtube.com/user/santorini009#play/uploads

Friday there will be a huge post involving tomorrow night's events. :D

It was a really great day

Well...we started off at about 11 am at the Albany Med Center in the children's ward. We gave out probably 2 or 3 hundred cranes there...not only to the sick kids but to thier families and their siblings. We told them the story behind the cranes too.

Then we went south to Kingston and then to Northern Dutchess where I'll be living next year and then to the Westchester Children's Hospital. And then to two hopsitals in NYC...including the one where Kelli recieved all her treatments and...stuff.

And it was a great day. It wasn't sad. It was kind of bittersweet. But it really saddens me that I met one thousand sick kids today and the families of sick kids. That's a huge number. And that's really sad to me.

Anyway...I'm really gonna go sleep now because I need to.

Eff

Aparently sending balloons into the atmosphere is littering....as birds can eat them and die.

Ugh.

well....now we have 10 unused tanks of helium, 500 balloons and a thousand paper cranes.

Um.

I guess we'll put the cranes in the river.

I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me

I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
And now the rain is washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world
I'm so many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds
And towering over your head
-Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

This will be my next full cover for youtube. :)

Um. So I think that at this point I'm going to keep this blog, because I've put so much on here, I'm keeping twitter and aim becuase even though I could make a new SN and not tell all of you, I'm not going to because it would be a pain in the ass to tell my highschool, college, family, and other random friends my new screenname.

Want to know something insane? This morning I logged onto aim and Kelli was on...not even joking. And I didn't get sad. I was more or less in shock on how someone could be on HER screename....

Anyway...this past week was so great....but so much happeneded. I pulled 3 all nighters. I went to a wedding. I was in that wedding...and efff the memory card I lost has all the pictures from it on there...UGH. But I will find it, it's somewhere around here.

So let's see. I'm excited for summer. Because summer will be here with the start of July. Monday the 6th Ethan and I leave for Maine to stay at his family's house until middle August. I'm hoping to find a job there....something part time and fun. Hopefully.

And then I start college in my house in Poughkeepsie. And I'm excited for that. In my two bedroom, one bathroom house with a little kitchen and a backyard big enough for manhunt. :D I'm excited because Katie is going to college across the river so we can see eachother all the time!

Speaking of Katie...she's been asleep next to me for the last 5 hours. HAHA. I woke her up at 7 this morning to run with me and she was out partying until 3:30 AM, came here and showered then slept. So really, she hates me for waking her up. But she'll do the same tommorrow morning.

We start blowing up 500 pink balloons tomorrow for our July 1st Kelli thing. Are balloons littering? I don't know.

Uhhh.....I think that's it. Oh. I want to talk about me. And myself. And just this past year in general. First of all, I couldn't have done it without you guys. Really, thank you and I love you all so much. And in a way, this was the best year of my life, but also the most painful. I've learned so much in this last year. About myself...like I'm strong. And I can get through anything. About the world and that it's cruel, and at the same time a wonderful place. This past year I was lucky enough to travel, across America and then home to the place of my birth and to Italy. I was lucky enough to not only see my favorite bands/artists play live, but I got to meet Taylor Swift. I lost a friend, but a gained more. I discovered that I have talents I didn't think possible or that I had. I learned about everything.

And with this comes changes. I've changed myself. I got the body I had when I was 16 back. (YES!) That awful haircut grew out and now I have the hair that I was born with. My eyes are changing, they're now hazelish. I'm a good 3 inches taller...bringing me to 5foot6inches. I changed inside also, I'm more confident in who I am. I love myself. I love my life. And I could not ask for more.

Random Kelli/Death Epiphany:
People die. People have to die. It's natural. She just happened faster than the rest of us. She knew what she wanted and lived how she wanted to live. Like we all try to do. We are all gonna die, and when we die, sure, people will be sad. But we should be happy that we knew that person and we honored to have met them. We should celebrate the things they accomplished. Death should not be sad, death should be happy...a celebration of life.

I think the reason I got so depressed was because I can't let go of things, mainly people. And I was almost selfish for wanting her there with me alive again. But she was my best friend...closer to me than Ethan if that is possible...and I'm going to miss her no matter what. I miss my mom when I don't see her, I miss my cousins in Europe, I misss people I don't see very often...but I'll see them again, just like I'll see Kelli again...and that's perfectly okay with me. I know that and I look forward to death when I'm like 100 years old. The one thing I do hope for when I die is that my kids, if I have any, Ethan, if he's still in my life, and my grandkids, if I have any all die after me. I don't think I'd be able to handle that.

Wow that was long. And it's now MONDAY. I better go sleep. Goodnight world. :)

Take me back to the time when you took my hand & dragged my head first, fearless

Two new videos, Mary's Song (which is okay) and Fearless (which I screwed up...). Umm once again I am still sick....3 days of antibiotics left. YAY!!! Um. So in both I recorded the singing first, then I did guitar over them. Mary's Song is okay, except the guitar is a bit off it spots. Fearless I recorded the guitar part intro without a capo and then when I actually did it I put the capo on and it is a wierd random key change. Ignore that, please? Or jsut fast forward to the last minute or so....Thanks. :) Oh yeah, and I wasn't really dressed yet when I did these...so ignore the huge ugly tee. :)

Here they are:



If you watch, you must comment. Thanks.


Okay...so here's what's being going on in Allyworld.

My family finally got here. So I spent last weekend with them. And went to Ikea with my mom twice and built furniture and etc. So much fun. I said that already though in the last post.

And we From Tuesday to yesterday I was in Boston for my bestfriend Kate's graduation. :) I'm so proud of her. She amazes me. And we had so much fun and just hung out.

And we are the greatest fans in the world. Tuesday night was the CMT fan voted award show. And Taylor was nominated for Video of the Year and voting was open until the end of the show. So we were sitting with our laptops open eating Fluff and pretzels and voting everytime we said the letter T. And she won...of course.

UMMMMMM. I'm here alone. In NY until Monday. Ethan's mom is getting married. We're both in the wedding. He left yesterday morning and I leave then. I think I'll go see the family tomorrow. But I'm excited for the wedding. I love weddings...except my own. But whatever. And I'll be there in that shithole of southern california that I love so much for a week. I'm sorry to any califorians that read this, but I hate that place.

And then we, being me and Ethan are going to Maine for the month of July and begining of August. :D Hopefully getting random fun jobs there and just spending all our free time on the beach.

AND RAIN I EFFING HATE RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It seems like it's been raining nonstop for the last two weeks. GRRR. I hate it so much. I want sun! It was sunny today but everything was wet and gross and blehhhhh.

Sorry for the long ramblingness. Bye.

I Just Call You Mine.

I fall apart
Just a word from you just somehow seems to fix
Whatever's wrong
Oh, you reach into the weakest moments
And remind me that I'm strong
You've got to know
I'd be a fool not to see you even worse
To forget that you're more than I deserve
Cause everyone who sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone who knows you
Always have a smile
You're standing ovation after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Nothing makes sense when you're not here
As if my whole world disappears
Without you what's the point of it
Cause everyone who sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone who knows you
Always have a smile
You're the dream that I've been chasin' after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine

I Just Call You Mine - Martina McBride, is my new favorite song. I just pasted in my favorite part. A whole mess of videos will be up next week. :)

So, this weekend, I want to say Friday, but it could have been Saturday, my family arrived. I was there waiting for them, with like 300 balloons everywhere and big posters along the driveway. The little kids were so excited about it. :)

And then I spent Sunday and Monday with my mom at Ikea. getting beds and room stuff for the kids. And today we also went to a furniture store to get couches and a dining room table. It was so much fun, just me and her.

Between myself, my dad, Cass, and Ethan we've got all the beds made so tonight everyone will be in their own bed. Which is exciting. We've got almost all the armoirs and dressers done. Bedside tables, bookshelves, etc, have to be done too.

Because tomorrow morning I drive to Boston until Thursday afternoon. :) My best friend Katie is graduating. I'm so proud of her. I really am. So tomorrow we'll be just chillin, then Wednesday afternoon she graduates and then that night we're going to an all night party thing. Which is exciting. Ahhh I'm so proud of her.

Saturday Night will be the one year anniversary of the night my best friend ever spent in her own bed, and the day in her own home. Hopitalized the following afternoon, she never left the hospital until she passed. I miss Kelli so much. We all have something amazing planned for the one year anniv. There will be a post that day too. I'm not telling what it is just now.

Anyway....being the insane person that I am, tomorrow night is the fanvoted CMT awards. :) and ofcourse, I'll be watching. I'm sure the people I want to win will win, as I'm the best/most dedicated/biggest fan of certain people/groups/duos currently exsisting in Country Music.

You used to shine so bright

but I watched all of it fade.
So you don't have to call, anymore.
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw.
There's nothing left to beg for.
You can tell me that you're sorry
but I don't believe you baby
like I did, before.
You're not sorry, no.
-Taylor Swift

AND NOW COVERED BY ME TOO! Sorry, Morena, it's on youtube.

So I recorded myself on a day where I wasn't allergy filled and now I figured I'd do guitar over it. Unfortunatly, either way, I still sound like crap.

Note to self: when having a pretty good singing voice don't ruin it by being a mute.

Anyhoodles, here it is. Rule, if you watch it you MUST comment. OR DIE. HAHA.

oh yeah, and you can't hear the singing very well. by the time i realized this, i had already hit the publish button.

As promised

1-Me talking about random crap
2-you're not sorry. taylor swift cover. a capella. ummm yeah. it's nowhere as good as my voice was, but it is getting better. i explain the multitasking thing in the first one, but this is an okay voice. with some random guitar.
3-fearless. :) crap voice. just the end. :) i love this song.
4-weightless - all time low. love this song.

it's taking forever, so every friday, or once a week i'm going to post songs. just random ones. i'm putting up these two because fearless is the first song i learned and i love it. and because YNS is my current favorite song because ...idk.

fucker. i just spent the last hour and a half uploading this and the website was like "rawr you can't do this. fyl"

trying again. will edit with it all on here. :) if it works.

I wanna thank you, I thank you....

Okay, so up until about 3 weeks ago, I detested Keith Urban. Then I heard the song "Thank You" written about his alcohol addiction and Nicole Kidman and how she saved them.

I then compared this to last fall and summer when I was....well you know. And just the certain person in my life that, in a way did the same. And I was bawling my eyes out when I heard it, by mistake, and then I played it for him and he was like "wow." And now I'm going to learn it on guitar, and put that on here.

Which is why I apologize, because of the fact that I promised music, but I'm having issues getting it to work. In that case, sometime soon. :D

So tonight, I leave you all with the lyrics to this song. Enjoy. Read them and just think about it all.

There were nights where I was sure
I wouldn't see the morning sun
And there were days that seemed so dark
I couldn't wait for night to come
I couldn't stand to think about how
My life used to be
And how without a single warning
It all slipped away from me

Like a fool I thought I could fight
The shadows on my own
To the dark I was no stranger
But this was stronger than I'd known
And by the time I knew that
I was too deep I'd gone too far
And the light that used to guide me
Had faded from my heart
And I found myself in places I thought I'd never go
Surrounded by stangers I was so far away from home
And I don't know how you found me
All I know is I owe everything to you
Yes I do

And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
And I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
I'm seeing for the first time
The stars, the sun and moon
But they've got nothing on the power
Of this love I have for you
And I thank you, thank you

Now people say they'll never stand beside you
They swear they never leave
But when the rain started falling
You know it only fell on me
When all I felt was so much pain and guilt and shame
I couldn't even as for help
I don't know if I believe in other lives
But when you came
There was something so familar
About the way you said my name
And the whole world started turning
And I swear that I'd been born again brand new
And it's all because of you

And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
And I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
I'm seeing for the first time
The stars, the sun and moon
But they've got nothing on the power
Of this love I have for you
And I thank you, thank you


And I've seen so many things
That I just can't explain
But the miracle of miracles is how
With your love I was saved

And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
And I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
I'm seeing for the first time
The stars, the sun and moon
But they've got nothing on the power
Of this love I have for you
And I thank you, thank you


And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
The day I started breathing
Was the day you took my hand
And 'til the day I die
I'll forever be your man
And I thank you, I thank you
Yes, I thank you


Note, while with me I wasn't at all this extreme, but still something about it just hit home. It explained everything I've been trying to say....and I wrote a similar song, I'll post that below too, and that was how I was trying to say, but I think Keith did it better.

NM...I can't find it. But I know I wrote it down somewhere.....Anyway, I hope you love that song as much as I.

A present for you all tomorrow

from me. :)

Let's see, in the morning I have to go somewhere with Annika and then after I have the whole afternoon free. So, tonight, I learned new music for you all. *claps*

I will be doing tomorrow:
Fearless - def.
White Horse - possibly.
Tim McGraw - possibly.
You're not Sorry - def.
Breathe 2AM - def
Remembering Sunday - def.
Wonderwall - poss.
Hallelujah - poss.

There was more but my brain is lie sjaghoaiureghakkljgb right now...HAHA

***coughmorenacoughreadtwopostsbelowcough***

Oh, last night, I had a lovely chat with the long lost Taylor and she's requested, and I insist that we all do a little chat. Wednesday to Monday are good for her. And for me too. Well, Sunday isn't (KFEST-this upstate little thing...seeing Gaga and TingTings, YES!!! and seeing KATIE!!!!) But yeah...so we need to do this. Like REALLY REALLY REALLY need to do this.

Delirious Me

HAHA

So I have a fever and this whole insane upper body cold. I'm on hardcore antibiotics for it for the next 8 days. No human contact for 48 hours. Whatever...

Anyway...so this afternoon with me being all feverish I was delirious. I was sitting up on the couch staring at the wall and mutting stuff. And if Ethan asked me a question, I'd answer it, but make it about cupcakes and the tide or something. So random. Apparently, he videoed it on his cell and is saying he's gonna put it on youtube. Whatever. I want to see it first.

But yeah, this sickness is most likely caused from my last post's event. (IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ABOUT IT READ ABOUT IT!!!!! NOW!!!!!)

Umm but that's it. Goodnight!

Taylor in NYC

I didn't take this pic. I was too far away. I could just see the top of her head.

So...I got there at 3am and there was already a lot of people in a line. They would let us into the plaza. It was insane. And it was totally worth it. Once they let us in, it started POURING> I squeezed my way through the crowd to get to near the entrance of the Today Show building is, where all the people go in and out. Her dad and brother were standing near me during her performances, so I like made them notice me and gave them my giftie (a tee shirt with a letter from me on the back, then a longer letter for Taylor inside the bag and brownies) and Austin was like "Taylor will love this." That was at like 7ish.

Then she did a sound check. I heard the band warming up and someone singing Love Story, but I was like "ehh no that's not Taylor" then all the umbrellas went down and people started screaming and she came on stage and someone held an umbrella over her heard. She did a bit of Love Story and You Belong With Me. Then she took the 12 string guitar out and I was like "YES FEARLESS!!!" but I could really hear. The girl next to me said it was Umbrella.
AND I WAS COHERENT WHEN TALKING TO HER!!! That hasn't ever happened. Then I got Taylor's autograph too. On my shirt. Ahhh so amazing! Taking a picture of that shortly And I wish that I brought my camera with me. She offered to take a pic but no camera.....effer. I've met her 3 times now and no camera everytime. But this girl near me said she got a picture of us talking and will send it to me....but it's not a good one probably. I left mine home today because it was pouring when I left. I told her about her gift I made and she was like "aww thanks!" I had my phone but that comes out really small and bad quality. She was amazing. So amazing.

She did Love Story, You Belong with Me, Our Song and Teardrops. I was hoping for some acoustic Fearless, as it fit the mood of the rainy day. But no....it didn't happen...grrr.

Oh yeah, and they gave away foam guitars, tee shirts, buttons and cowboy hats. I got a guitar and a pink cowboy hat. HAHA!

She also said that when she was upstairs and looked down at the umbrellas and wet hair that she teared up and couldn't be happier. She was so sincerely nice and amazed at everyone who was like "thank you for writing this song, it really touched me" and when people told how amazing she was and stuff like that she looked shocked, almost like "wow." It was amazing, she truely loves us - her fans. She hasn't changed, this whole sudden burst to mega stardom hasn't made her high headed. She's the same girl who started this when she was 16 and would sign autographs for everyone and stay as long as she needed to to get it done. I'm so proud. :)

Needless to say, one of the best days of my life.


Random bit of info...her hair is so soft in person. Mine was alll nasty from the rain, but hers was perfect. I didn't touch it, but my arm brushed it when she hugged me. AHHH YESSS!!!!

Ummm

I forgot what I was going to say. Actually, I was going to post pictures, but I'd have to get up again and that's not happening. I'm too comfy. In 4 hours we fly home. I'm sitting by the window looking out at the London streets and it's been a great trip with some tragic moments. But it's okay, I'm okay. It'll all be okay - actually it is great. :D

So I'm inlove with Ireland. It is a beautiful country. I think I like it better than London. So yeah. I guess that's it for today. Good-early morning!

A Picture and My love for London

I LOVE LONDON!!!!!!!!!! Picture time: I took this from the top of the London Eye Ferris Wheel on my cell. Ignore the nasty blurriness. I love London....I said that already. I love pubs. I love the lovely red double decker busses. I love the happy nice nurses at the London Hospital (long story short, Ethan broke his arm...uncoordinated loser.) I love everything about this city. Gosh, it's amazing. I'm moving here someday. I found love in the form of a city.

AND I think I love it more than New York....though I could be just smitten. The only thing I don't like is that it is so much colder here than Greece.

I changed my blog url...which is why I think no one has found it in awhile, it is now http://www.allofallysthoughts.blogspot.com/

Anyway....today we're doing more sightseeing then it is off to DUBLIN. Land of the Gingers and Guiness. I really wanted to go ride the Hogwarts Express today (because you can) but Ethan was like "You need to get over this obsession and I'm not waisting my money on something that stupid and pointless." Which it is not...at all. HP is amazing. HAHA.

OOOOOOH! And when I get home, I'm gonna do a mini concert. I'm doing 2 originals and a few other songs that will all be surprises.

So I can't sleep.

What a long, great day. One of the best in a long time. It's almost Thursday here, and I leave in 6 hours to fly to London. HELL YEAH! I was there once for like a day, and it was so pretty and wonderful, what I saw of it - which was the bookstore where Mugglecast was on the night Book 7 came out, the airport, and a couple streets.

I'm awake and looking at the stars again. It's beautiful. Everyone and everything is beautiful. My left hand is a little bit heavier and I just feel like jumping up and down on my bed and dancing and screaming and laughing until I burst a rib.

Uh...what is there to do in London? That's what I'm doing now. We'll be there Thursday and Friday and part of Saturday, then we're going to Dublin until Monday, going back to London and flying home. I want to go home so badly.

I really want to go to a Pub...like a real pub. A nice traditional British pub. HAHA. I want to see the crown jewels. I want to go to the Flagship TopShop - I doubt Ethan will want to do that though. I really want to go on the Ferris Wheel. Oooh and the tower. I think that would be so neat. Yeah...and go the Guiness place in Dublin and get beer. I'm not a big beer person though....I will be this weekend I guess.

Hmmm, I guess I'll tell you about the lovely dress I borrowed from my distant cousin and neighbor. It had a v-neck front and back, all chiffon/light airy cotton, it hit at my ankles and had a braided belted empire waist. Beautiful. I gave it back to her though. I wore black sandals. I looked so good in it, espcailly the chest, but I said that in my last post.

Part of me felt really guilty about today because our parents weren't there and I'm so close to mine. Anyway...I'm gonna sketch for a bit and go back to sleep. I love you all, I really do. Thanks for everything you've all done for me this past year. It means so much.

This wasn't how I pictured today at all...

I'll make a list.


1-We were going to be in a field or something.
2-Our families were supposed to be there.
3-We weren't supposed to be spontaneous...if being drunk is spontaneous.
4-I was supposed to be wearing a good dress...(I did find one though. My neighbor was like "try my dress!" So I did and it's freaking beautiful)
5-I was supposed to be able to understand the priest.
6-Certain friends were supposed to be there.
7-In my head, I was older.
8-My dad thinks I'm pregnant and wants me to mail him a peestick. Which I don't think I am.....if I am, then I'll do certain actions that will leave me in jail and a certain someone in a box.




I think that's it. Two hours. Oooh...good things about today.


1-I look hot. HAHA. My boobs look so good in this dress. Is that bad that I'm calling myself hot?
2-Perfect freaking food. I love my uncles. :)
3-Ethan looks so -I was going to say "fuckable" but for some reason it didn't look right, but you get the idea- in light blue.
4-The fact that as much as I think this is all pointless, a formality on this point, I'm honestly kinda loving it.
5-The fact that, finally, something in my life is definate.


OH! So, Thursday we're leaving for London. We'll be there for a couple days, then we're going to Ireland. I've always wanted to go to the land of the Irish. Then it's home on Monday. I want to be in my city so bad it hurts.

As much as I can't stand Miley Cyrus....

I love her song "The Climb" but her man voice annoys me.

I'm really craving some Japanese food. Random. Ehhhh, that will have to wait.

And I've posted so much recently, but whatever. A week from today, I fly home. Actually, I fly to London first because of a layover....but then New York. I want to be in my own bed so badly.

Gossip Girl was really great. :) Anyway....I'm going to go crash for like 6 hours then hopefully find a dress. Well, I must find a dress as I couldn't find one yesterday. Grr. I'm trying a different town, maybe I'll have more luck there. :)

Rawr.

So, I'm sitting here in this loverly cushy chair drinking wine, talking to my sister Cassie, watching a really old Oprah that's badly dubbed in Greek and subtitled. I'm a good multitasker.

Hmm. I think I'm going to do another semi-all nighter and sleep for a bit now and wake up. I took a nap this afternoon. I woke up at three AM and sat awake and read then went for a run...which is quite difficult here because of all the steps. So I ended up walking up the steps and running laps around my uncles winery for a few hours. I love running..it is really exhilerating. It's so wonderful here at night, just looking at the lights and stars and moon. I tried taking a picture last night but it did work. I'm trying again now with my webcam...maybe that will work. Hmm...never mind it didn't. Oh well.

I think that's it right now. OH YEAH! Since it is the GossipGirl season finale, I found it streaming live online somewhere because knowing me I'd look it up and find out what happened and that would make me really really mad. So I'll be here at like 8ish EST, so I'll be here watching it and on AIM....if you should feeling chatting with me.

Wedding.

So don't freak out completely. Wednesday afternoon I'm getting married. It's all very sudden, but honestly, it's kind of like we already are in ways. So, anyway...basically it all was decided over a bottle of wine, the recent tragic death of our friend and the fact that I was like "I want to get married here" and Ethan was like "Well, why the hell not?"

But honestly, it's inevitable. Think what you want....

(651): Last night while we were having sex,

'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

I got really really really happy about 12 hours ago. That is a good thing, obviously. I was eating with my family and out of nowhere this redheaded, freckled face, lost looking, beautiful person comes wandering up the steps in aviators (why the hell was he wearing aviators? I personally hate them on everyone) and the sexiest freaking wonderful teeshirt that I don't ever remember buying for him - which made me happier. I buy all of Ethan's clothes...he has absolutley no fashion sense. I started buying them like a two years ago, when he showed up to school wearing red gym shorts, a green Celtic's tee, and brown Nikes. Sorry, but eww.

Gosh...that makes me so happy that he came all the way here, when he was due here next week. I think I'm gonna stay longer now, my mom and the kids go home Tuesday and my cousins are working/school full time, so I'm basically alone. I help in the restaurant, but sometimes my Greek isn't as fast as it needs to be.

Anyway, I practically lunged across the table and attacked him. My little sister, Katherine, ran behind me and wrapped herself around his leg. So cute. Anyway, now that I am not super alone, I am happier. Today it's church and we, my cousins Ethan and I, are going for a long walk and trying not to get lost this time. Wednesday, we took a walk and ended up in the middle of nowhere and had to ask this deaf guy for directions. Not fun.

I really want it to rain, but I'm rambling. So bye for now.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I freaking love http://www.textsfromlastnight.com It is my new favorite thing. Seriously.

I'm sitting here laughing my head off dying from hysterical laughter. My ribs hurt from laughing so hard and I'm crying.....yeah.

Some of my favorites:

(303): The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.

(412): I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

(813): you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

(205): I only kidnapped one of them. chill

(201): we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer

(512): I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

(708): i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

(941): I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie

(508): Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again

(480): WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.

(805): peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

(913): U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.

(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

(917): this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in

(812): So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions

(907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

(312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

(201): what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
(1-201): dying kittens.

(413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

(303): My hand turned me down

(989): Well a couple things dont make sense to me. Like people in wheelchairs that have dirty shoes.

(510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

(515): She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.

(775): I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again

(650): Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm


HAHAHAHA sorry for so many...I kinda went a bit extreme with that. Go to the site....it is so amazing. Anyway today I'm cooking with Alexia and Dem, and then we're going dancing and stuff. Going home Monday.

I miss

all our chats from the fall.
can we have one? soon?
i feel like i haven't talked to any of you in forever.
so seriously, i don't know.
email me and we'll work out a time or something
because i really do miss it. i miss you guys and all the randomness.
i miss corrupting morena.
and just everything.

so.....yeah. WE NEED TO DO ONE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
and honestly, i dont even care what time...when i'm in greece i barely sleep.

One way Two say, Three words Four you....I love you.

Listening to the Plain White Tee's. I can do that on guitar. When I get back to NY, or soon idk which, but I promise a mini concert. I'll make a list of songs I can do and you all can pick them.

Anyway, recent events that I'm not going into right now, have taught me to just appreciate life. Do not take ANYTHING for granted. Love the people you hate, because of their flaws. Smile at everyone. Let everyone into your life no matter what they've done in their past that is a bit dodgy. Be a person that is positive for the world. Every second wasted is a moment lost.

Actually, I'll tell you. I got an email last night from a mutual friend from highschool. A boy that was friends with everyone killed himself last Friday. I found out almost a week later, I would have gone out to the service for him if I knew. He was amazing and always had a smile and nothing was ever wrong with him to my knowledge. It is just odd to me that someone that was just the light and laughter of the school do that.

What I just been thinking about all day is maybe I could have done something to prevent it, anyone could have. Maybe just being there for him. No one really knew that there was anything wrong. That scares me. Are we all just too oblivious?

This all goes back to the header for this, yeah, it's a love song, but if we all just said "I love you" to someone everyday....who knows what could happen?

Anyway...think about it. I'm leaving Greece earlier than I planned, I was staying until June 12th originally, but I'm going home on Monday. I love it here, but I just need America right now. I need to be closer to my family, my friends, etc.

Oh yeah, I accidently put a hole through my new guitar. Not good. I was fumbling around in the dark and stepped on it....oops. Guess its back to the crapper.

It's 4 am

And I've been up for about 17 hours straight. We left Italy early yesterday to fly to Santorini - first time I arrived by plane because my grandmother was not good at all. She was getting worse by the minute. We said goodbye and just sat outside her house, my whole Greek family just waiting. And she passed at about 1 AM. Well, it's three hours later and I'm just ready to crash. But I wanted to share with you all a little about my grandmother.

Her name is Zeta, short for something - I'll find out and get back to you. We all just called her Zeta. She was mother of 5, with 12 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. She met all of them before she died. Umm, she married my grandfather at age 18 and they opened a restaurant my uncle now owns. She was an awesome woman. She was 83 years old.

Anyway, more posts and lost of online time coming soon. I feel like I haven't talked to some of you in forever. Good night to you, goodmorning to me. I'm sleeping forever.

Siedo in un aeroporto, e annoiato.

Okay, so I'm sitting in the airport and it is 6:30 and I'm waiting for our plane. We've been sitting here for about a half hour. It is always good to get to airports early. Espcially with kids. Who are running in circles by the windows where we are sitting and waiting and watching the planes. We should be leaving in about a half hour. Lovely long flight too. Its like 11 hours to Paris, then a little layover and a three hour flight to Rome. With the time change we land in Rome at like, 2 in the afternoon. That's wierd to me.

So I'm going to be getting a lot of sleep, depending on the awakness of the kids. Two five year old girls, Isabella and Katherine, and three year old and one year old boys, George and Guytano.

Damnitydamnfreakingcrap. I just spilled lovely hot cocoa all over my dress. Lovely.

Oh, yeah....I FINALLY got a better guitar. Not the one I wanted, but it is a Fender. It is black and beautiful. It is sitting next to me....in the case obviously.

Anyway, I can garuntee, that I'll be alone in the land of white houses and blue skies aka Santorini, I'll be online a lot. HAHA

Arrivederci!

Arrivederci, Chitarre, e Viaggiare

Well, I made a video for you all this afternoon, me talking in Italian and rambling on then playing Fearless in Italian. But youtube is being a little bitch. Which was annoying because the syllables are different, I'll show you.

I don't know how it gets better than this
Non so come prende migliore di questo
You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless.
lei porta la mia mano e mi trascina dirige primo intrepido
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance
E non soperché ma con lei ballerei.
In a storm, in my best dress, fearless.
In una tempesta nel mio migliore vestito intrepido.

So the phrasing is off, so it was a pain to learn but I did it. And I'm proud of myself. :)

Well.....I'm excited. For a lot of things. Tomorrow is my last day ever at NYU. Last day of finals. I feel....I don't know. Indifferent, would be the word. I have English 102 and Calculus finals and I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Tomorrow afternoon my mommy and my baby brother and my 5 year old twin sisters and my 2 year old brother arrive. Then Friday night we take a red eye to Roma. From there we are going to see my family until Tuesday, then flying to Santorini. For a month. :)

Well, I am happy because I'm going home to the bestest place on earth. But sad because my grandmother is very ill. Which is sad because I lurrrrrrve her. Basically, its like practicaly final that it is the last time she'll get sick. That's why my mom is going. And bringing the babies so my dad has less to deal with. But they'll come possibly once everything is, well, final. And she's gone.

And....if you've seen my recent twitters, I've ranted on about guitars. I'm getting a new guitar. *does little dance* My parents are paying for half, they'll pay up to 500 dollars, so that means my range is bigger. I speant two hours today looking and playing to make a decision. I want this one.

http://www.taylorguitars.com/Guitars/Acoustic/Koa/

I'm inlove. I held it today and it is beautiful and sounds amazing and the only thing stopping me is the price. Since I've learned guitar, everytime I see Taylor Swift with it I get envious. It is beautiful. But it is also 3 thousand over budget. Grr....

My other choice right now is a Fender. But it isn't pretty like the Taylor ones. There are cheaper Taylors but they aren't pretty like the Koas.

Anyway...you all know my email if you need me (my aim/twitter/youtube @aol.com) I'll be blogging and online occasionally, depending on what's happening in the world.

Arrivderci Bellas!

I love you for giving me your eyes...

Inspired by this:


WATCH THE VIDEO IT IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE.

I'm making a photocollage video for my mom to me singing this song for mother's day with pictures of me and my brothers and sisters. Last time I made one of these it refused to upload here, but I'll try again. I'm either mailing it to her, doing it over one of our videochats or possibly seeing her in person because of certain...things. I'll got there later.

This post is about my mom. How she has always been there for me, for everyone of us. She treats us all equally, like there isn't a "prize child" and she'll try to do special things for each of us. Which is amazing that she even can because of the little ones. I'm going to tell a story that I think of everytime I hear this song, if you don't know what song it is by now becuase you are not listening/watching, it is The Best Day by Taylor Swift. Here is the story:

I must have been like 9 or 10 and I had come home from school mad because I was different than the other kids. Different in appearance: I had the body of a 6 year old, I had insane hair - much like Taylor's in the video except darker and poofer and tight little ringlets and just horrible. I need to find a picture to scan in from then to show you all, because it is so freaking funny. But what I was most bothered by was my eyes. My eyes, as a child were really light (light as in shade) greenish-blue. Really pretty, but they've got progressively more hazel mixed with brown as I've got older. I was mad because a girl, who is now one of my best friends - Kate, made fun of them because no one had those eyes. She called me a freak and an alien and honestly, looking back it is so insanely funny to me.

I think my eyes, after my hips, are my best feature and to think that I came home in tears about it becuase everyone else had one-color darker (as in shade) eyes. My mom sat me on the kitchen counter, looked me in the eyes and told me that my eyes are special. They are the eyes of my grandmother and that, out of all her grandchildren and children only 5 others have had those eyes and how she wished she had them. She told me I am lucky and that what other's think are my flaws are probably my best features. That was the moment I became proud of my nationality, my heritage.

I'm so happy to have these eyes now, so thanks you Nani for giving me your eyes. Being the grandma with the house open to me any time, letting me sneak in, and always being there. Thank you Mom, for always being there and helping me through my problems, for actually being the carrier of the great-eye gene. I love you.

Nani, my Greek grandmother, is getting pretty ill. She's really old, and her time may be coming soon. That'll be a hard one for me if it happens, so that's why I'm leaving next weekend to go to Greece with Ethan and possibly my mom and the non-school aged kidlets. I think it is pretty necessary, so I'm trying to work Nani into my video. I promise to post it if it'll let me.

Have a good week everyone, it's Saturday night and I've been laying on my couch taking a break from studying, eating HaagenDaaz with Ethan and trying to fall asleep so I can sleep in tomorrow. Finals next week are going to kill me. Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday and I am free. :) Wish me luck!

allywisdom

I like it when I throw myself under the bus, let the shit hit the fan and then hit me.
However, it isn't cool at all when people put me under the bus and think I'll be okay with it.

I like provoking some people for fun.
I don't like it when people get me introuble.

I like it when I can scream and yell for no reason.
I don't like it when I have a reason.

I like it when I can dance when no one is watching.
I don't like it when the neighbors see me.

I like it when I can DA in my own home.
I do not like PDAs.

I like it when he pisses me off for fun.
I don't like it when he doesn't know that he pissed me off
Let the shit hit the fan and push me under.

Thanks. Goodnight. Finals next week. Grr...

Post #157

Oh, my, gosh. That's a lot of posts.

Anyway, I'm just putting this here tonight to let everyone know that I'm going to me MIA until next weekend, the 10th or something.

This week is major cram week, the weekend is cramming, and all next week is finals. Lovely.

Ehh, it could be worse. But incase no one hears from me, that's where I am.

I like a 15 page paper due on Thursday, a brain chart of emotions - wtf? Phsycology I hate you, a paper (a little one) on an influential women in American history and some other shit. My brain feels like its going to implode from all the information swirling around inside of it.

And it is also the perfect time in my life to get sick. I'm freaking out about this swine flu thing. I am like, the biggest germaphob and now is the worst time for this to happen. I'm walking around with a scarf around my head in 80 degree weather and gloves on my hands. I refuse to take the subway or a cab. I'm riding my bike over 30 blocks every day, or driving - which is impossible. I don't touch anyone, or anything other than my own stuff. I take a shower as soon as I get home, I don't go to the gym now, or for food. My study sessions in the park are over, and I'm making Ethan shower the minute he gets home. I'm such a freak, but I can't get sick right now. I hate getting sick and I really just can let this happen to me now.

Well, that's my OCD, rant and etc for the day. Now you guys know how much of a freak I am.

the birthday for the girl who will never get another birthday.

Wherever you are
You'd be 18 today
The sun shines a little less bright
I still love you more than anything
Wherever you are
You'll never get that chance to vote
Buy a cigarette - like you even would
Wherever you are
Happy Birthday Kelli Anna
Wherever you are
Know that I miss you
We all do
Wherever you are
I hope you miss us too.



A little poem thing I wrote in like two minutes. I might expand on it. It's not very good.


I was just sitting here reflecting on this time last year and how insane everything was. When Kelli turned 17, she knew it would most likely be the last birthday. And she celebrated with a huge smile on her face and like the sun was coming out her eyeballs. It was amazing. She was so brave and stronger than I can't even imagine being. She was an inspiration to everyone, her smiling gave a feeling of hope.

Part of me feels like I'm imagining this all in my head, that Kelli was Kelli, and the sunshine feelings and such were all created in my head afer she was gone. But I like them, so they'll stay.

So tomorrow a few of us are spending the day Kelli style. We're going to dance at a friend's studio in the morning, visit the cancer wing at her hospital - the one where she got all her treatments, eat at her favorite restaurant, and at night we'll see a play. I'm so excited. It won't be a day of sadness, but of happiness. And we only have her to thank for it.

If Kelli didn't get sick, I would have never came back to NYC. I love it here, and I absolutley detest California. I got accpeted to colleges around the northeast, maybe some would have been better for me, but her getting sick gave me the city, so I'd be here incase of anything happening. And it happened too soon. If she never got sick again, my life could have been completely different and I wonder what it would be like. I can't really picture it in my head. Does this make me sound like I'm happy that she's gone? Because I definatly am not, at all. Words can't describe how much I miss her.


I just wish that somehow, there would be a way for all kids to never die. And that no bad things could ever happen to them. Ever. Children are angels, and without them the world would be doom-and-gloom. That is my one wish for God, that no child will ever die, or be abused, or get a life-time illness, or just anything that damages their being.

Anyway: Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday my bestest friend in the whole wide world. I love you always. I can't wait to see you again someday.

Turn a page, I'm a book half unread

Edited picture of moi. Taken in Maine. I have tons of beach pictures but I don't feel like putting them up right now. Quote from one of my favorite songs, read below a few posts.

Okay, so something has really been pissing me off and his name is Perez Hilton. You've must have heard about the whole Miss California contrevorsy. His question was "What is your opinion on gay marriage?"

She answered honestly, her opinion. And now he has this issue with it and so does the rest of the world.

Now here's what I don't understand, would it have been best for her to lie, say the "politically correct answer" and go against herself and her beliefs? No.

So now there's this whole thing about how it cost her the crown. I honestly think beauty pagents are a joke, but seriously. AT LEAST SHE SPOKE HER MIND!

THIS IS AMERICA! WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH HERE! WE ARE ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT WE WANT SO PEREZ HILTON STFU!!!

thank you, goodnight. :)

hmmm i was going to ramble about something

but i totally forget what it was.

eh brain fart.

i made cupcakes today. they're dark chocolate and amazing.

and i've noticed that all the nice muscle, and wieghtloss and toning i've been doing is kinda going away. i need to make better use of the gym again. wahhhhh.

and hmmmm it's kelli's birthday friday. meaning, she would have been 18. so we've planned a little party for her. well, not for her....you know what i mean.

and hmmm...idk. i'm going through this random harry potter phase. it'll probably last for a long time....until the movie comes out. i'm rereading them and i'm excited. i tried to accio my water glass to me today. tobie said taht's something i shouldn't tell people....i'm a freak.

OH! I remember noW!!!!!
My summer plans are a roadtrip. July and early August through the US and Canada and maybe Mexico depending on its whole drug situation then....with like 8 of some of the best people. we're buying a jon&kate plus 8 van and driving that...i'm so excited. :)

i guess that's it. i'm going to bed now. goodnight. :)

MAIIIIIIIIIIIINE

So this weekend, I went to Maine with one of the best people in the whole entire world and my bestfriendpracticallysisterwhoInevergettoseeanddesperatlyneededgirltime: Kate. :)

Let's see, we stayed at Ethan's family's cottageyhouse like 2 minutes walking to the beach. I love that house. :) And we got there Friday night and went to the movies and saw 17 Again...it was goodish. And we ate like 2 lobsters each and stayed up until 2am talking and dancing and it was amazing. Then Saturday we went to the beach and being offseason, it was deserted, so we sat there and sunbathed and I have a slight tan (the highest it got was 55 degrees...eww) and I put my toes in the water and they turned purple. And we shopped and such. It was a great weekend.

What I love the most about Kate is that she's just postive, no matter what. Like we were talking about Kelli and everything was positive. We were talking about the situation with her mother and it was postive (I have no idea how that could be) and that girl is all smiles and that makes me love her even more. I miss her already....Boston is too far away. :( And the fact that she's stronger than I'll ever be, physically, mentally, etc, is so great to. She's had a lot of issues in her life, and has delt with them wonderfully. It amazes me. It really does.

I got home like...4 hours ago and sat outside our apartment for about an hour because I lost my keys (I realize now I left them with the car rental people in Boston - they're mailing them to me) and so I called Idiot, I mean, Ethan's phone, and it was off. So I called the landline...straight to answer machine. I kept calling and knocking, just incase. Then I found the spare key and broke in and walked in to Ethan sitting on the couch in the dark with the tv blaring with Halo in his pajamas with a dirty shirt (he doesn't shower unless he has to do something, letting us all suffer. It's disgusting.) And he was like "oh, you're home." And then I kicked him and yelled at him for not having his phone on....and not hearing the machine. Ehh, that was funnier in my head. But yeah, he pissed me off.

But it was great to have a girls weekend but I'm glad to be home. This is the 3rd weekend in a row I haven't been home and I'm staying here for a long time. Finals are soon, and I was accepted into a college in upstate NY that I think I want to try out. It'll be a music/English/writing dual major. So I have to go there to visit for the accepted students weekend, and then it'll be there in the fall. I'm excited for this change. This is is some sacrifices on the relationship stuff, but that's okay. It's necessary. I think.

Anyway, picture post soon. We must have taken 1000+ pictures this weekend. I just want to edit/look at them all first. Sorry for two long posts in a row. :)

I want to feel WEIGHTLESS...

New favorite song alert. Weightless by All Time Low.

I LOVE the lyrics, but the music is too poppy for them. And that makes me upset. But whatever. I'm posting a youtube of it at the bottom. The lyrics to the song:

Manage me I'm a mess
Turn a page I'm a book half-unread
I wanna be laughed at
Laughed withJust because
I wanna feel weightlessAnd that should be enough
But I'm stuck in this fucking rut
Waiting on a second hand pick-me-up
And I'm over getting older
If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
And I'm over getting old
And maybe it's not my weekend but it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watchingWhile the minutes pass
As I go nowhere And this is my reaction
To everything I fear'
Cause I've been going crazy
I don't wanna waste another minute here
Make believe that I impress
That every word by design
Turns a headI wanna feel reckless
Wanna live it up just because
I wanna feel weightless cause that would be enough
If I could just find the time
Then I would never let another day go by
And I'm over getting old
And maybe it's not my weekend but it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching
While the minutes pass
As I go nowhere
And this is my reaction
To everything I fear 'cause I've been going crazy
I don't wanna waste another minute here
This could be all I've waited for
And this could be everything
I don't wanna dream anymore
Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I've been going crazy I'm stuck in here
Maybe it's not my weekend
But it's gonna be my year
And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass
As I go nowhere(Go nowhere)And this is my reaction
To everything I fear 'cause I've been going crazy
I don't wanna waste another minute here

It fits my current mood. I think I'm honestly done with the whole college thing. It was nice, a lot of work. But I'm thinking that getting a nice job would be nice. And going from there for life. It just ehhh, I'm over it. I want to be little again. I want to get out of this city. I want to do something. I want to live. Once the semester is over, something like 4 weeks. I don't really know. I lost my calender...oops! But that will be it. I'll probably end up going back.

But right now, I want to pursue myself creatively, that's including musically, artistically, writingly, and I feel that you don't need a teacher in a classroom telling you how to write or draw or make music. Its bull. Once you really know the theory, then you are good to go.

Music is always something that's been in the back of my head. I enjoy it so much, espcially making it - writing it. I want to take some time to try that out. I doubt anything major will happen, but for now I want to see how it goes.

Writing is another thing that I really love. I have one story that I put up on polyvore that I'm working on editing and adding to it and just expanding to make it readable. That will be sent to publishers someday. Hopefully by autumn. Writing music is something that I've just started but still am not sure how much I like it.

I just think I'm going to take time for myself and see where this goes. But all of this leads by to present you with my NEW blog. It'll be where my creative juices go. :)
Link: http://creatinspiration.blogspot.com/

Anyway, listen to this song, I've gone so far off topic.

Happy Easter

I had a picture to put up...but I can't find my camera. I'm home! (for the weekend) And I really hate sleeping on the couch because they've turned my old room into my sister Cass's bedroom. Grrr.

Anyway, today was nice. Got up for sunrise service with Ethan, came home, did the whole "Oh look the Easter Bunny came" thing. (We filled and hid 200 eggs.) Ate a ton of candy. I love peeps. :) And then we went to regular Mass. It was a long morning. Then I fell asleep on the couch with my favorite 2 year old. Then my mommy made a really great dinner-lunchy thing of lamb, lasagna, and turkey. We had Ouza. Ouza is amazing. It's basically this Greek version of champagne, but you do it in shots and its really strong, very fruity and wonderful.

Then I fell asleep again. And we decorated cupcakes. Which we just ate.

Last night we did eggs. My hands will be stained for a long time. What a fiasco. NEVER let you kids dye egss. SUCH a HORRIBLE thing to put us older people through. Ugh.

Friday night, my whole family went out for dinner, which never happens, because there is so many of us and it'll be expensive and just insane with the kiddies. And I saw the Hannah Montana movie with my sisters, meaning they forced me to take them and I paid. They also got more candy, popcorn, and soda than any normal person could eat. And I have to say, the movie wasn't that bad. It WAS painful, but not that bad.

And I almost got killed this morning turning into my driveway. Idiot drivers. Like they stopped INCHES from my rental car without insurance. Because no one really needs that. GET IT!

So I guess that's it. I'm online because I'm so bored and the older kids have already locked themselves in their rooms and the younger kids are passed out from a sugar high. On me. With their grubby little fingers.

Epiphany: This weekend has proven to me that I really don't ever want kids. Happy Easter!

Music Wednesdays

^Best part of the whole night. That's probably my favorite song that she has. It was AMAZING! I really want to go back. Unfortunatly all my pictures are disgusting. They came out all pixel-y and blurry. You can't even make out people. There is a cute one of my dress. I'll put that one up.

Cell phone pictures suck.

Anyway. I wrote another song, but can't find the paper I wrote it on....

And Rascal Flatts' new album is amazing. I've been listening to it nonstop and seriously. Its so good. Every song could be a hit. Right now, the only one that I can remember is "She'd be California" but there's so many more great ones. Posting a link.

Goodnight!

SERIOUSLY????

Ahh, before I rant forever, I'm posting videos so you know what I'm talking about.





Yesterday was a great day. In all aspects of my life. It started out by a nice run along the West Side Highway, and then I went to TopShop with Tobie and then we spent the afternoon in the park painting our toenails and signing and dancing like idiots. So much fun. I bought I sequined dress in baby pink and its so cute. I can't find somewhere to wear it too.

Then, at 8 PM, my country side came out and I sat on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and watched my girl, Taylor Swift, of whom I've been a fan for just about 4 years now. And lets just say, she's been a postive influence on my life. Her music made me start to like music again. Before that I never really listened to much, but I found her music and now I can't live without it. Anyway....Taylor kicked some ass.

She, and so many other great people like Rascal Flatts and Sugarland, came out for the introduction and did a medly. That was great. And I sat and watched, while videochatting with my sister, and then Taylor performed. By a magical introduction. Which was pretty cool, I don't really like the whole magic thing, except Harry Potter, but that was neat. And she sang "You're Not Sorry" - not my favorite from her, but a good song. And she was a bit flat. I don't think she's there yet vocally, which is probably why she lost that award.

Anyway.....then after she performed, Reba gave her this little glass thing called a Milestone Award, whatever, that's one of them. I thought "Oh, its a consolation prize to make her feel better. She won't get any other award. The Academy doesn't like the pop-y Fearless that much" So I stopped paying attention. And then, half asleep, I hear Album of the Year getting announced and I looked up and her name was called and in a spilt second I was off the couch screaming and jumping and crying - yeah crying...haha. It seems so stupid now. And Ethan came running in and was like "What's wrong?" And I just couldn't explain and had to rewind for the acceptance speeches and I just couldn't stop crying. I'm still happy about it.

And sitting there watching her take the award for the least-country album that was nominated, and thinking about when she won the Horizon Award and getting so happy over that because she was just so adorable getting that award. And she's come full circle, from the little girl wearing a really (I hate to say it but) ugly sundress just to walk the redcarpet to promote her first album, to perfomring Tim McGraw to Tim McGraw and everyone cheering every break in the song, to now, taking over the world. She really is. She's come full circle and I'm so proud of her.

And now you all are reading this going "She insane" and "Why the hell would a city girl like Country Music so much?" Music to me is like breathing. I need to have it my life, and I'm so fortunate that I've found a genre that has done that to me. Country music is just so pure and wonderful and honest. Not much so in other genres. And part of it really reminds me of Greece.

Have a good week everyone!

SPIN - song I wrote

---As soon as I'm alone, not half asleep, and have nothing else to do, I'm recording this---

She smiles, another rough day
But that won’t let it fade away
She slips her shoes off and
Stretches her legs
Presses play

She spins in a circle
Sways her hips and lets the hair fall down.
Soft blond strands dance in the low light
Pirouettes and a leap, escaping
All her fears.

She gets up, another dreary day
She smiles and walks to face
Her fears, the ones who look upon
The scar and secrets
But she

She spins in a circle
Sways her hips and lets the hair fall down.
Soft blond strands dance in the low light
Pirouettes and a leap, escaping
All her fears.

As the days drag on
Her hope grew strong
Her smile shining brighter than any other
And now,

She spins in a circle
Sways her hips and lets the hair fall down
Soft blond strands dance in the low light
Smiling brighter than the dancer in her heart
She dances to escape, bright eyes
Tomorrow is another day,
Forget the fears, let them fade away

In response to yesterdays video

I was like "holy fack, that's horrible singing voice ally" and then I was like...hmmmmm should I delete? nah.

keep it up and enjoy.

I wants commentos peoples!

For all of you, About all of you :)

Okay, so this was completely spontaneous and I was like, "Hey, they're the ones that see the videos, so I'll write a song." I attempted to write a song. It sucks. I was laughing so hard doing the first two times and it kinda sucks. Anyway...pass the word around. Here it is. :) :) :)


Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

My favorite spring fashion trend...

4 Ways To Wear - by the_wanderer on Polyvore.com

I have a strange addiction to these things. The ones pictured are from American Eagle and I've bought all 5(?) colors because I love them that much. I'm wearing some now..and its really cold out.

Seriously...this bipolar weather pisses me off. When I left for California it was a sunny 61 degrees. I get back and its 43 and rainy. Actually, I lie, its not raining anymore, but its still cloudy and kinda windy. California, minus the reason I had to go there, was amazing. I spent time with my family yesterday and I've missed those kids so much. We made homemade pasta. Yum.

Ummmm let's see, I'm really bored and have an essay to write. I'm watching Cycle 7 of ANTM and trying not to fall asleep. I really want to buy a better guitar too. Mine's kinda crappy. My cello is also out of tune and that pisses me off. I can't find my tuner pitch thing anywhere. Anyway, I have a few videos for you guys that will be up soon. I promise. :) Oh - how would you guys feel about me doing a song in Greek or Italian...I've figured out "Fearless" in Greek. It's a bit different because the phrases are longer than English.

My new favorite song is "Love is Gone" by The Script. Go check it out. Its pretty awesome. Well, toodles. I'm gonna go attempt to get this essay thing done. Immigration during the 19th Century and how it affected the Reconstruction in the Post-Civil War era.

Thrilling.

The last two days.

Friday morning when me and Ethan were playing Halo (I was kicking his ass btw) we got a phone call from my mother saying she was at the hospital. My head immediately raced to the kids...which one fell? What happened? Were they fighting, playing, car accident? But it wasn't any of them...it was Ethan's mom.

She had a heart attack. Lucky enough, she never takes her phone out of her pocket, and dialed my house. My mom called the ambulance and was brought to the hospital. From there, they brought her to LA (where I am now). She's not overweight and she's the healthiest eater I know. She's a smoker and that's what brought this on.

Don't smoke, ever. Please? I've seen it do terrible things to so many people.

She's okay. She had bypass surgery and the doctor said everything will heal great. But it scared

us. Scared us all....this was completely preventable.

And I've learned I suck at comforting people. It is a tad bit awkward, but now I know how he felt all last summer with me.

I figured I'd let you all know. I'm probably heading up home tomorrow to see my family and then I leave again Monday. I'm so sick of flying/traveling. I spend way to much time off the ground. Never a dull moment.

I want to hold your hand...

Untitled - by the_wanderer on Polyvore.com

So, I'm home and am honestly so insanely happy. Its probably endorphins or whatever. But my camera is being an idiot and isn't uploading my pictures....they'll be up eventually. Hopefully. :)

So for today point. I want to hold your hand. This was all inspired by a great movie, and book, one of my favorites, Nick and Nora.

"The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand. "

Lyrics:
I tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
Please say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please say to me
You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy inside
It's such a feeling that my love, I can't hide
I want to hold your hand.


Now...I had a minor rant on twitter earlier. I'm copy and pasting it in, then rambling for awhile.

Nothin gets better than hand holding. Ever. While walking, while kissing, driving...anytime, anywhere. It conectects you to that one person and really - that's all that matters. Knowing that you don't want to let go at all. Ever.

Okay. So lets expand on this idea.

I don't think that in any relationship ever starts by look at someone and going "I want to fuck them hard." No...its' "I want to know more about that person and spend time. I want to hold their hand."

Maybe some people go straight to bed...idk. But really, it is the easiest and greatest way to just say "Hey, I like you, it may not be forever, but for now, I just want to do this."

I love this song, thought whatever. I could ramble forever. I love hand holding...I love love. I'm just in a really great mood. Seriously....its been a long time since I've been this way. I love this feeling. The whole that was in me is gone for the most part...there will always be a scab to remind me, but for now, I don't plan on picking it off like a little kid.

Actually - I lied. One thing is pissing me off. The customs people in Boston stole my wine. That was expensive wine too. Aparently under-21s can't bring alcohol into the country...umm...Bullshit?

Whatever.....I'm having my Grandma mail me some. :) And remember...hand holding rocks!

I've deleted last night's post.

Long story short...I don't want to come here someday and relive that. Like Raven said, it's really not that big of a deal...but still. It was a mistake. I can handle that. No one is perfect.

Anyway...I guess everything is good between me and Ethan...I really don't know. I talked to him a bit tonight, but whatever. If he gets all extreme about this because its just not that big of a deal.

Hmm, so I go home Wednesday...well, start my trip home, technically I'll leave Wed and get to NY on Wed, but its still over 24 hours of travel time, including annoying layovers.

Ummmmm yeah. I think that I'm gonna sleep now.

Btw, you all need to get a twitter. Seriously.

The constant sun

I was going to put a poem I wrote up here, but would much rather stay here in my bed before getting up. I set my alarm for 6 so I'd have time to get ready before we left to go to Mykonos and right now its a little after 5. Whatever, I've discovered recently that I am very nocturnal. I should do this in a list form.

1-I love it here. So much. Note the twitter updates one the right. I've been putting these up about 5 times a day. Its easier than blogging.
2-Its been 70 degrees and sunny everyday. No clouds in sight most of the time. Love.
3-The moon here is amazing. Actually, stunning would be the better word. Sad part is pictures don't capture it well enough.
4-The fact that typing this is really hard, because I've been thinking/talking in Greek.
5-I have a TAN. and freckles - which are still wierd to me that I've got them.
6-My cousin has fallen for Kate. Kate has fallen for my cousin. Neither can speak each other's language...leaving me to be their translator. Not fun....
7-Cliff diving....is exhilerating. Hiking to the cliff is not.
8-I have a blister from not being used to wearing flipflops...ouch.
9-I hate the fact that the US$ is shit in Europe.
10-I love the fact that right now, I'm looking out my window and can see the sun rising over Fira.
11-I really love how some things you'll never forget. Like the nice old lady at the fish market my uncles sell at....she was acient and is still sitting in the same spot selling squid when I was a little kid.
12-The fact that I can sit at my uncles with Kate and George and my other cousins and drink wine, as much as we want...and not get introuble.
13-I love the fact that donkeys are awesome.
14-I love how there's no cars, or very few cars here.
15-I love that I'm home. :) Do I have to go back to real life?

Picture TIME!!!!

This is the view from the ferry as you get to the island. :)


SUNSET...the outer islands. one has hotsprings and is an active volcano, the other is just a lump of land with people living there.