Friday, April 24, 2009

the birthday for the girl who will never get another birthday.

Wherever you are
You'd be 18 today
The sun shines a little less bright
I still love you more than anything
Wherever you are
You'll never get that chance to vote
Buy a cigarette - like you even would
Wherever you are
Happy Birthday Kelli Anna
Wherever you are
Know that I miss you
We all do
Wherever you are
I hope you miss us too.

A little poem thing I wrote in like two minutes. I might expand on it. It's not very good.

I was just sitting here reflecting on this time last year and how insane everything was. When Kelli turned 17, she knew it would most likely be the last birthday. And she celebrated with a huge smile on her face and like the sun was coming out her eyeballs. It was amazing. She was so brave and stronger than I can't even imagine being. She was an inspiration to everyone, her smiling gave a feeling of hope.

Part of me feels like I'm imagining this all in my head, that Kelli was Kelli, and the sunshine feelings and such were all created in my head afer she was gone. But I like them, so they'll stay.

So tomorrow a few of us are spending the day Kelli style. We're going to dance at a friend's studio in the morning, visit the cancer wing at her hospital - the one where she got all her treatments, eat at her favorite restaurant, and at night we'll see a play. I'm so excited. It won't be a day of sadness, but of happiness. And we only have her to thank for it.

If Kelli didn't get sick, I would have never came back to NYC. I love it here, and I absolutley detest California. I got accpeted to colleges around the northeast, maybe some would have been better for me, but her getting sick gave me the city, so I'd be here incase of anything happening. And it happened too soon. If she never got sick again, my life could have been completely different and I wonder what it would be like. I can't really picture it in my head. Does this make me sound like I'm happy that she's gone? Because I definatly am not, at all. Words can't describe how much I miss her.

I just wish that somehow, there would be a way for all kids to never die. And that no bad things could ever happen to them. Ever. Children are angels, and without them the world would be doom-and-gloom. That is my one wish for God, that no child will ever die, or be abused, or get a life-time illness, or just anything that damages their being.

Anyway: Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday my bestest friend in the whole wide world. I love you always. I can't wait to see you again someday.


  1. That sounds wonderful :) Happy Birthday Kellie!

  2. Sigh.
    I'm crying.
    Ugh Ally your writing is always beautiful.