Eff

Aparently sending balloons into the atmosphere is littering....as birds can eat them and die.

Ugh.

well....now we have 10 unused tanks of helium, 500 balloons and a thousand paper cranes.

Um.

I guess we'll put the cranes in the river.

I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me

I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
And now the rain is washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world
I'm so many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds
And towering over your head
-Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

This will be my next full cover for youtube. :)

Um. So I think that at this point I'm going to keep this blog, because I've put so much on here, I'm keeping twitter and aim becuase even though I could make a new SN and not tell all of you, I'm not going to because it would be a pain in the ass to tell my highschool, college, family, and other random friends my new screenname.

Want to know something insane? This morning I logged onto aim and Kelli was on...not even joking. And I didn't get sad. I was more or less in shock on how someone could be on HER screename....

Anyway...this past week was so great....but so much happeneded. I pulled 3 all nighters. I went to a wedding. I was in that wedding...and efff the memory card I lost has all the pictures from it on there...UGH. But I will find it, it's somewhere around here.

So let's see. I'm excited for summer. Because summer will be here with the start of July. Monday the 6th Ethan and I leave for Maine to stay at his family's house until middle August. I'm hoping to find a job there....something part time and fun. Hopefully.

And then I start college in my house in Poughkeepsie. And I'm excited for that. In my two bedroom, one bathroom house with a little kitchen and a backyard big enough for manhunt. :D I'm excited because Katie is going to college across the river so we can see eachother all the time!

Speaking of Katie...she's been asleep next to me for the last 5 hours. HAHA. I woke her up at 7 this morning to run with me and she was out partying until 3:30 AM, came here and showered then slept. So really, she hates me for waking her up. But she'll do the same tommorrow morning.

We start blowing up 500 pink balloons tomorrow for our July 1st Kelli thing. Are balloons littering? I don't know.

Uhhh.....I think that's it. Oh. I want to talk about me. And myself. And just this past year in general. First of all, I couldn't have done it without you guys. Really, thank you and I love you all so much. And in a way, this was the best year of my life, but also the most painful. I've learned so much in this last year. About myself...like I'm strong. And I can get through anything. About the world and that it's cruel, and at the same time a wonderful place. This past year I was lucky enough to travel, across America and then home to the place of my birth and to Italy. I was lucky enough to not only see my favorite bands/artists play live, but I got to meet Taylor Swift. I lost a friend, but a gained more. I discovered that I have talents I didn't think possible or that I had. I learned about everything.

And with this comes changes. I've changed myself. I got the body I had when I was 16 back. (YES!) That awful haircut grew out and now I have the hair that I was born with. My eyes are changing, they're now hazelish. I'm a good 3 inches taller...bringing me to 5foot6inches. I changed inside also, I'm more confident in who I am. I love myself. I love my life. And I could not ask for more.

Random Kelli/Death Epiphany:
People die. People have to die. It's natural. She just happened faster than the rest of us. She knew what she wanted and lived how she wanted to live. Like we all try to do. We are all gonna die, and when we die, sure, people will be sad. But we should be happy that we knew that person and we honored to have met them. We should celebrate the things they accomplished. Death should not be sad, death should be happy...a celebration of life.

I think the reason I got so depressed was because I can't let go of things, mainly people. And I was almost selfish for wanting her there with me alive again. But she was my best friend...closer to me than Ethan if that is possible...and I'm going to miss her no matter what. I miss my mom when I don't see her, I miss my cousins in Europe, I misss people I don't see very often...but I'll see them again, just like I'll see Kelli again...and that's perfectly okay with me. I know that and I look forward to death when I'm like 100 years old. The one thing I do hope for when I die is that my kids, if I have any, Ethan, if he's still in my life, and my grandkids, if I have any all die after me. I don't think I'd be able to handle that.

Wow that was long. And it's now MONDAY. I better go sleep. Goodnight world. :)

Take me back to the time when you took my hand & dragged my head first, fearless

Two new videos, Mary's Song (which is okay) and Fearless (which I screwed up...). Umm once again I am still sick....3 days of antibiotics left. YAY!!! Um. So in both I recorded the singing first, then I did guitar over them. Mary's Song is okay, except the guitar is a bit off it spots. Fearless I recorded the guitar part intro without a capo and then when I actually did it I put the capo on and it is a wierd random key change. Ignore that, please? Or jsut fast forward to the last minute or so....Thanks. :) Oh yeah, and I wasn't really dressed yet when I did these...so ignore the huge ugly tee. :)

Here they are:



If you watch, you must comment. Thanks.


Okay...so here's what's being going on in Allyworld.

My family finally got here. So I spent last weekend with them. And went to Ikea with my mom twice and built furniture and etc. So much fun. I said that already though in the last post.

And we From Tuesday to yesterday I was in Boston for my bestfriend Kate's graduation. :) I'm so proud of her. She amazes me. And we had so much fun and just hung out.

And we are the greatest fans in the world. Tuesday night was the CMT fan voted award show. And Taylor was nominated for Video of the Year and voting was open until the end of the show. So we were sitting with our laptops open eating Fluff and pretzels and voting everytime we said the letter T. And she won...of course.

UMMMMMM. I'm here alone. In NY until Monday. Ethan's mom is getting married. We're both in the wedding. He left yesterday morning and I leave then. I think I'll go see the family tomorrow. But I'm excited for the wedding. I love weddings...except my own. But whatever. And I'll be there in that shithole of southern california that I love so much for a week. I'm sorry to any califorians that read this, but I hate that place.

And then we, being me and Ethan are going to Maine for the month of July and begining of August. :D Hopefully getting random fun jobs there and just spending all our free time on the beach.

AND RAIN I EFFING HATE RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It seems like it's been raining nonstop for the last two weeks. GRRR. I hate it so much. I want sun! It was sunny today but everything was wet and gross and blehhhhh.

Sorry for the long ramblingness. Bye.

I Just Call You Mine.

I fall apart
Just a word from you just somehow seems to fix
Whatever's wrong
Oh, you reach into the weakest moments
And remind me that I'm strong
You've got to know
I'd be a fool not to see you even worse
To forget that you're more than I deserve
Cause everyone who sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone who knows you
Always have a smile
You're standing ovation after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Nothing makes sense when you're not here
As if my whole world disappears
Without you what's the point of it
Cause everyone who sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone who knows you
Always have a smile
You're the dream that I've been chasin' after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine

I Just Call You Mine - Martina McBride, is my new favorite song. I just pasted in my favorite part. A whole mess of videos will be up next week. :)

So, this weekend, I want to say Friday, but it could have been Saturday, my family arrived. I was there waiting for them, with like 300 balloons everywhere and big posters along the driveway. The little kids were so excited about it. :)

And then I spent Sunday and Monday with my mom at Ikea. getting beds and room stuff for the kids. And today we also went to a furniture store to get couches and a dining room table. It was so much fun, just me and her.

Between myself, my dad, Cass, and Ethan we've got all the beds made so tonight everyone will be in their own bed. Which is exciting. We've got almost all the armoirs and dressers done. Bedside tables, bookshelves, etc, have to be done too.

Because tomorrow morning I drive to Boston until Thursday afternoon. :) My best friend Katie is graduating. I'm so proud of her. I really am. So tomorrow we'll be just chillin, then Wednesday afternoon she graduates and then that night we're going to an all night party thing. Which is exciting. Ahhh I'm so proud of her.

Saturday Night will be the one year anniversary of the night my best friend ever spent in her own bed, and the day in her own home. Hopitalized the following afternoon, she never left the hospital until she passed. I miss Kelli so much. We all have something amazing planned for the one year anniv. There will be a post that day too. I'm not telling what it is just now.

Anyway....being the insane person that I am, tomorrow night is the fanvoted CMT awards. :) and ofcourse, I'll be watching. I'm sure the people I want to win will win, as I'm the best/most dedicated/biggest fan of certain people/groups/duos currently exsisting in Country Music.

You used to shine so bright

but I watched all of it fade.
So you don't have to call, anymore.
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw.
There's nothing left to beg for.
You can tell me that you're sorry
but I don't believe you baby
like I did, before.
You're not sorry, no.
-Taylor Swift

AND NOW COVERED BY ME TOO! Sorry, Morena, it's on youtube.

So I recorded myself on a day where I wasn't allergy filled and now I figured I'd do guitar over it. Unfortunatly, either way, I still sound like crap.

Note to self: when having a pretty good singing voice don't ruin it by being a mute.

Anyhoodles, here it is. Rule, if you watch it you MUST comment. OR DIE. HAHA.

oh yeah, and you can't hear the singing very well. by the time i realized this, i had already hit the publish button.

As promised

1-Me talking about random crap
2-you're not sorry. taylor swift cover. a capella. ummm yeah. it's nowhere as good as my voice was, but it is getting better. i explain the multitasking thing in the first one, but this is an okay voice. with some random guitar.
3-fearless. :) crap voice. just the end. :) i love this song.
4-weightless - all time low. love this song.

it's taking forever, so every friday, or once a week i'm going to post songs. just random ones. i'm putting up these two because fearless is the first song i learned and i love it. and because YNS is my current favorite song because ...idk.

fucker. i just spent the last hour and a half uploading this and the website was like "rawr you can't do this. fyl"

trying again. will edit with it all on here. :) if it works.

I wanna thank you, I thank you....

Okay, so up until about 3 weeks ago, I detested Keith Urban. Then I heard the song "Thank You" written about his alcohol addiction and Nicole Kidman and how she saved them.

I then compared this to last fall and summer when I was....well you know. And just the certain person in my life that, in a way did the same. And I was bawling my eyes out when I heard it, by mistake, and then I played it for him and he was like "wow." And now I'm going to learn it on guitar, and put that on here.

Which is why I apologize, because of the fact that I promised music, but I'm having issues getting it to work. In that case, sometime soon. :D

So tonight, I leave you all with the lyrics to this song. Enjoy. Read them and just think about it all.

There were nights where I was sure
I wouldn't see the morning sun
And there were days that seemed so dark
I couldn't wait for night to come
I couldn't stand to think about how
My life used to be
And how without a single warning
It all slipped away from me

Like a fool I thought I could fight
The shadows on my own
To the dark I was no stranger
But this was stronger than I'd known
And by the time I knew that
I was too deep I'd gone too far
And the light that used to guide me
Had faded from my heart
And I found myself in places I thought I'd never go
Surrounded by stangers I was so far away from home
And I don't know how you found me
All I know is I owe everything to you
Yes I do

And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
And I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
I'm seeing for the first time
The stars, the sun and moon
But they've got nothing on the power
Of this love I have for you
And I thank you, thank you

Now people say they'll never stand beside you
They swear they never leave
But when the rain started falling
You know it only fell on me
When all I felt was so much pain and guilt and shame
I couldn't even as for help
I don't know if I believe in other lives
But when you came
There was something so familar
About the way you said my name
And the whole world started turning
And I swear that I'd been born again brand new
And it's all because of you

And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
And I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
I'm seeing for the first time
The stars, the sun and moon
But they've got nothing on the power
Of this love I have for you
And I thank you, thank you


And I've seen so many things
That I just can't explain
But the miracle of miracles is how
With your love I was saved

And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
And I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
I'm seeing for the first time
The stars, the sun and moon
But they've got nothing on the power
Of this love I have for you
And I thank you, thank you


And I thank you for my heart
I thank you for my life
I thank god for grace and mercy
And that you became my wife
The day I started breathing
Was the day you took my hand
And 'til the day I die
I'll forever be your man
And I thank you, I thank you
Yes, I thank you


Note, while with me I wasn't at all this extreme, but still something about it just hit home. It explained everything I've been trying to say....and I wrote a similar song, I'll post that below too, and that was how I was trying to say, but I think Keith did it better.

NM...I can't find it. But I know I wrote it down somewhere.....Anyway, I hope you love that song as much as I.

A present for you all tomorrow

from me. :)

Let's see, in the morning I have to go somewhere with Annika and then after I have the whole afternoon free. So, tonight, I learned new music for you all. *claps*

I will be doing tomorrow:
Fearless - def.
White Horse - possibly.
Tim McGraw - possibly.
You're not Sorry - def.
Breathe 2AM - def
Remembering Sunday - def.
Wonderwall - poss.
Hallelujah - poss.

There was more but my brain is lie sjaghoaiureghakkljgb right now...HAHA

***coughmorenacoughreadtwopostsbelowcough***

Oh, last night, I had a lovely chat with the long lost Taylor and she's requested, and I insist that we all do a little chat. Wednesday to Monday are good for her. And for me too. Well, Sunday isn't (KFEST-this upstate little thing...seeing Gaga and TingTings, YES!!! and seeing KATIE!!!!) But yeah...so we need to do this. Like REALLY REALLY REALLY need to do this.

Delirious Me

HAHA

So I have a fever and this whole insane upper body cold. I'm on hardcore antibiotics for it for the next 8 days. No human contact for 48 hours. Whatever...

Anyway...so this afternoon with me being all feverish I was delirious. I was sitting up on the couch staring at the wall and mutting stuff. And if Ethan asked me a question, I'd answer it, but make it about cupcakes and the tide or something. So random. Apparently, he videoed it on his cell and is saying he's gonna put it on youtube. Whatever. I want to see it first.

But yeah, this sickness is most likely caused from my last post's event. (IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ABOUT IT READ ABOUT IT!!!!! NOW!!!!!)

Umm but that's it. Goodnight!