Monday, September 29, 2008


I need a quote or a motto or poem or saying for this blog.

I need ideas.

First one who give me one I like wins a prize....

some randomness

My dream last night: We (me and Ethan) were at this beach and it was all sunset-y and beautiful and then it was like the movie Jaws. We died/got eatten.

Anyway...the people I live with came home last night at around 10:30. Totally drunk - well...not Tabitha. She's the smart one. So they get home and I got hugs and we talked and we did other stuff- they don't remember it. So fast forward to this morning...blah blah blah me with a hungover boyfriend. So I baked a cake and decorated it excessivly out of boredom and it looks super cute. Then I met my friend for lunch and we did some shopping. Got purple faux suede boots.

I love my outfit today. Purple and Grey pinstiped against black vest over a dark purple tunic with grey tights and black boots. With some random and usual accesories thrown in.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Great Weekend

Got home this afternoon to a rainy city and took a cab from Newark Airport and also took several pics of the grayness. Rain is stunning and magical and awesome. I love rain - it is one of my obsessions - I love everything about it. Went from the bright and sunny Cali to the dark and waiting NYC.

Anyway, back to the focus - my weekend. I got home (Cali) and authenic, homecooked Italian food was waiting for me (Thanks, DAD!) and then I fell back into the old rutine of group HW and helping the kids. Then I gave the littlest kids baths. Then it was bedtime. After that I talked to my dad. It was so nice just to chat with him.

Its the first time I've seen my brother since July and he's now almost 7 months old and has grown so much. He has these little dark curls and deep brown eyes...little Italian heartbreaker already.

Then Friday I took the older kids to breakfast with the non-school aged kids then dropped them at school and relieved the babysitter for the day and hungout with 3 awesome little kids. We made cookies. yum.

Friday we had movie night and had a popcorn fight just the older kids and me.

Then Saturday morning I had a chat with Ethan's mom. (who I love she's awesome) and she basically told me that I was a slob and that her son and I are living in sin and are crazy sex addicts and that we should be living in seperate rooms. I took the sisters shopping and I spoiled them ofcourse. And it was homecoming at my school so we went to that and my sister and a whole bunch of her friends and I went sliding up and down the hallway in our socks. It was so much fun. By the end we had a routine to SexyBack all figured out of use running and sliding and spinning and have it on vid...I'll try to get that up soon.

Today I cooked breakfast and we went to church then we came home and hung out some more then they drove me to the airport (Ethan's mother came too because of transportation issues) and I cried and my sister wouldn't let go of me and Tannie (the baby) was crying and I felt so bad leaving them there until Tuesday.

My dad was starting to go nuts though...because that long with out my mom there to help with the crazyness does that to you. My dad gave me yellow roses (my faves) and a thank you note and a lunchbox of food before I went through security.

I miss them already. That was my weekend and now I am sitting in my pajamas drinking some tea and catching up. I am alone for the first time in weeks because Ethan and all of them went to the Mets game then they're going to some after party with friends after (well duh because after parties can't be before). I'm supposed to go, but the awesome. They'll be back late and I've already called I'm here writing to all of you guys and catching up on everything.

How's Life?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

going home

Leaving thursday night and coming home sunday afternoon.

Going home to help out my dad and spend time with the kids.

My mom is coming home tuesday next, so this'll give my dad a break.

Plane tickets are freaking expensive, but i won't need one until christmas.

I'm so excited. i miss those kids (and my dad's cooking) so much.

Atleast i'll get a few days at home and some authentic italian cooking.


Sorry this is so brief, but I will be taking my computer with me.

Monday, September 22, 2008

It always seems like...

that as soon as things get going good again the magnetic fields of the earth switch up and it all goes bad again.

And its not so bad yet...but its definatly a lot worse than last week.

I swear it is a cycle...lets take 2008 as an example: January was the best month of the year..nothing could make it worse. The in Feb. my grandfather dies a week before my seventeenth birthday. March was great.

Then at the end of March I get the news that on of my best friends was terminal with cancer - given six months to live. April and May were a blur with finals, AP tests, Kelli, and graduation. June was great and horrible. I spent the begining of the month back home in Greece, then the rest in NY with Kelli. July was the worst month of my life...when Kelli died. At least shes' not in anymore pain and she's in a better place. I spent the next two months (July and August) moaping and not accepting her death.

Now in September, as I have gotten help and accepted that she's in a better place and that it is so much better for her to be there than here on this planet suffering. I have gotten okay. I am not spending my free time moaping and crying, but for the first time in a long time I am happy.

So that would mean that this cycle has to fuck up my world again and indeed it has. My grandmother is not well. I am not that close to on the other side of the world does that to you. But I hope she will get mom is there now.

I gues in a way life is like a cycle. There are cycles in everything. I guess what it comes down to is the fact that once it all is great something has to go horribly wrong. least I know its gonna get better.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Lyrics I love

Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For a Night) by All Time Low

Stay awake, get a grip and get out
You're safe from the weight of the world
Just take a second to set things straight
I'll be fine even though I'm not always right
I can count on the sun to shine
Dedication takes a lifetime
But dreams only last for a night

Yeah...that basically sums up my mood right now.

Things are getting really good for me. For the first time in a long life is really good and I have actually said "I am happy" and meant it.

Today we went to Six Flags...because of extreme boredom and we had a ton of fun.

I got sunburn and more freckles.

Anyway...its late and I want to get up early again. Getting up early is really working out for me. I get more accompished. Like this morning I got up at 8 (for a Saturday it's early) and did laundry and made breakfast and went for a run/jog and did some yoga.

I feel great.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

"Treat your life like a firefly

Like it only gets to shine...for a little while. Catch it in a mason jar with holese in the top and run like show it off" - Me and Charlie Talking by Miranda Lambert.

Today is the day that two of my best friends in the universe become adults (or legal if you want to put it like that). I actually cried because they have turned 18 before me.

Once again, I feel like the baby. And in a way that's always who I'll be...for the longest time I was almost like their little sister. They were the ones who looked after me in school and made sure I got on the right train or got around the hallways right. They made sure I because friends with the "good" kids...and the group of people that my world revolved around had those two awesome people in the middle.

I owe them so much. (and still need a birthday present for each of them...AHH)

Tonight...I'm throwing a small party for these two great people...with that same group reunited again for the first time ina few years. This should be an interesting night. Of course, we've all gone different directions and have made different decisions. But tonight...we'll all be together again and I am so excited. These 7 people were such a great influence on my life.

So I am finish decorating and to get presents...maybe. or just wrapping a box with a note in it...that's probably whats gonna happen. Posting pics later maybe.

Saturday, September 6, 2008


CALLED LOVE STORY. It'll be the first single off of her new album coming in Novemeber, but this single will be on itunes and radio this month! (I spend way to much time online looking her music up because I just can't get

Taylor wrote this one by herself again. I think I always like the songs that are just her writing better than the co-written ones which are still awesome.

Watch it all....

ANYWAY - now you can buy it on itunes and here's the video for it...I'll write me comments after.

I'll limit my comments to 15.
2-When Taylor sees him she kinda looks at him like, YUM appetizing.
3-The dresses and costumes...omg.
4-The balcony she's standing on is breathtaking...actuallly all the sets for this video are. and they are also very romantic and fairytale like (which was probably the goal).
5-I love her hair. It looks so pretty.
6-The way the sun comes through the back to light up around her head is stunning...almost angelic.(I am only about 45 seconds into the video)
7-Did I mention I want the dresses? (the one at the party and the one thats white and corsetted)
8-I love those woods and I love that horse.
9-When he comes out of the woods and the smile on her face is just pure happiness.
10-I love the way the dress billows out behind her as she's running down the stairs to meet second thought was "I would trip"
11-I really want a castle-type thing
12-When they finally embrace I was expecting a kiss.
13-When it goes back to modern day she's looking at "Romeo" like "this is gonna be great!"
14-I love this song already. I listened to it on repeat all afternoon.
15-BUY THIS SONG ITS GREAT. and my slight obsession with Miss Swift.

Friday, September 5, 2008


Lets just say that there are tears still damp on my face while typing this. I decided not to mope in the past and cry over the fact that I will not get her back, but I can spread awarness and make other people my age realize how important and valuable their life is. I don't know if they realize it or not, but kids their age who are lying in hospital beds and dreaming of the day they can go home is something completly surreal to the normal teenager. Every teen has thier sturggle, but what they don't know is that there is a child out there that would trade anything to be in the place that you reading this are now. Sure, you're life may not be exactly ideal to you yourself, you may see your body in a bad way but they see it as something desirable because you are healty.

Tonight I watched Stand Up to Cancer and everything I've seen, the stories I've heard, and everything about these past six months has come flooding back to me. Today marks the two month anniversary of my friends memorial service...the day I realized she was gone. And now instead crying about what I cannot get back I am going to move forward and try/learn how to help people in similar situations as I was. Tonight marked a change in me - a change for the good.

So, in the process of helping me grow and helping others get better and find a CURE - because a cure is possible. It's tangible and it's in the near future. With just some time and money and research there will be a way to save someone's mother, father, sister, brother, grandparent, uncle, aunt, cousin, best friend.

Did you know that an American dies every minute from cancer?

I did not know that. I learned that tonight. Share that piece of information with someone when you tell them to donate a few dollars - because EVERY DOLLAR COUNTS! Tell your parents that if they donate $10, you'll donate $5.

Everyone has been affected in some way...use this chance now to make that something that no one will have to say, "My _________ has been affected by cancer"

We will be able to take the fighters and have them able to say I AM A SURVIVOR. because being a survivor is a spectacular thing.

Donate Now @

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I hate fighting

My best friend, Kate and I had this huge fight tonight and it just makes me feel really bad because we've barely fought since, well...forever.

And I don't even know what happened or how it started....

But I just really want to slap her. Thats how mad I am.

I'm venting.