Those roads in your head

You know those two roads in your head? The one you've been on forever that you know like the back of your hand and everything is there and its all good there and nothing bad can happen?

Thats the road of Happyness. (I spell it like that ever since I saw the movie)

You know the other path? That dark small alleyway which is scary as hell and everything in it is bad, but there still is some like coming from the main street that is the road of Happyness.

I am on the second of the two. The dark road...and for once, I don't know how to get out of it. I feel it all just slipping away: my friends, my family, my life, my dreams, my future...gone. Sure they're not gone gone, but it sort of how I'm feeling. And I don't know how thats happening.

I don't even sound/look/feel/think/act the same. Ethan thinks so too, but differently, he says that my eyes have gotten duller in the fact that in general I'm not as happy as I used to be. If you took the me from 18 months ago and the me now we wouldn't be recognizable. That scares the hell out of me.

I mean, in ways, I've gotten older and more mature, but along the way I've lost a tad bit of my youth and sanity.

That was long...and somehow someday I will get back on this right path. It will happen. I was just getting back to me and I've slipped out somehow.....how did this happen?

In other new, I added my "It" girl on the side bar. Its Taylor Swift...and the reasons its her are listed.

Currently Listening Too: You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

*Obsessed much?*

Making Music

My cello came back the other day from getting repaired, and it looks amazing. Back when I moved this summer, the idiot movers broke it (snapped the neck - not all the way - and some other damages...so its been in repair for awhile now). Ofcourse, I had to play it....I spent a good 3 hours just going through my old faves and playing some news stuff along with my ipod. I tried taking a melody of a song and trying to recreate it...I worked on Fearless by Taylor Swift and some All Time Low stuff. It sounded pretty good.

I just felt at home with my baby. Like the months we were apart didn't exsist and it was just pure comfort. I love the feeling of my fingers on the strings and sound of a rosin-covered bow along the silver strings. When I'm out tommarow, I'm picking up some music books so I have more to work with. I think I'm going to go back to the classics, so if anyone has any suggestions that would be lovely.

The only down fall of this afternoon of music is that I'll have caluses on my left hand fingers...and my right writs my hurt a tad...but its totaly worth it.

And I bought a 850$ pink fiber-glass practically bullet proof case so the whole snapping of the neck and chipping the sides won't happen ever again. I also got a pink endpin!

Bella's Lullaby--The Official One

From what I've heard there was a Hot Topic thing last night that allowed people at the stores to listen to the whole soundtrack....well, they obviously played Bella's Lullaby and I am upset. Here it is:



I honestly don't think it sounds very lullaby-ish. Sure, the quality isn't that great but it still isn't what I hoped for.

Ofcourse, I fell inlove with Yiruma's River Flows In You but thats not it either.

Anyway...26 days and I can't wait!

For once in my life, I feel like I know what to do.

Tonight/today I've made some decisions that will affect my life drastically. I'm okay with it...actually not okay...I'm sure of my decisions. I'm not going to say quite what it is yet because I'm still finalizing.

Sorry for building you all up! :(

I'm sitting here sitting talking to my family and listening to the randomness of my house and telling them my plans. Hopefully my parents won't freak out too horribly.


In other news, I lost it for the first time today. The first time in a long time. It was a bad morning...but what goes up must come down...Moods included.

My Most Recent Epiphany

I am surrouned by tall people 24/7.

Everyone...my friends, the people that I live with, and my classmates.

Everyone is atleast 5'8''.

My life is going pretty damn good right now. For once I can honestly look at my life and say I am happy.



This whole election/state of the economy is scary as freaking hell and its stressing me out big time.

Anyway...here's a pic to enjoy.



This is from last weekend. There's a pic of me and my friend kissing Dan Radcliffe's chest. Let's just say that we were bored. Standing in line for an hour does that too you. This is on...31st street..at the All Time Low concert we had to get in line at the entrance of Jersey Boys next door and walk around the block due to our lateness. It was worth it though.

Fearless

Yet again another Taylor Swift post.

I downloaded the studio of the song I've been inlove with (fell inlove with the acoustic version and then the live at Jamboree version) and lets just say I am a tad bit disapointed.

They got rid of the awesome mandolin/banjo intro and the violin.

But here it is in all its awesomeness.


and I still love it so much. Great song!

Forever....Begins...Now

OME OME OME OME

The Twilight Trailer. The last one. And its amazing.

Let's just say that when I saw this I had an excitement orgasm - yes, it is that great.

All doubts I had have been erased. I can tell now that the creative forces behind this movie have made it their baby and its so amazing so far what these people have done.

My hopes for a movie being as good as the book it came from were ruined with Harry Potter. When I heard Twilight was going to be a movie I was actually kinda pissed. I didn't want to see another book series I love get ruined by Hollywood.

So far I love everything about this movie- from the cast to the scenes and clips I've seen to this Trailer. I love it. November cannot come soon enough.

MTV has an anylisis of it and its long and very good...read it I suggest.

My opinions...it is amazing...duh. LOVE THE KISS. I fast forward and replayed that again because i was too busy squealing. I love the small attentions to detail. I love Rob's sunglasses when they're walking through the parking lot to school. I love that we see more of the Cullens.

Oh--you can see it on the right. Love that little widget.

The Weekend Update

I am not that sick any more. All fever is gone. I have 6 days of meds left, but I am already feeling so much better. Which is great.

Any minute now, my friend Kate should be here. And we're going shopping. Tonight, we go see Equus. I'm excited about this one..this is the earliest we've been able to get tickets. Seeing it for Dan Raddcliffe of the Harry Potter fame.

Then Sunday, we'll be headed to go try to meet All Time Low because they're doing a meet and great...this depends one when we wake up and how motivated we feel. But I would LOVE to meet them. I don't really know why I like their music so much. It really isn't all that fabulous. Anyway...that night we're seeing them again with The Maine and Mayday Parade.

So this is quite the action-filled weekend. I'll try to remember my camera and take pics and vids of everything.

Oh...the music thing on the sidebar hasn't been updated in a looong time. So I'm working on adding some awesomeness to it.

the OCD I live with

Ethan is .such a clean freak..its almost revolting

He washed out sheets everyday last week in order to minimize the rish of him getting sick..then he made the bed...which is amazing.

He makes me put on purrel after every time I blow my nose.

I cannot use the same washcloth or handtowel as anyones else.

I cannot touch food.

My tooth brush is kept in a sealed plastic bag.

The wii remotes and the xbox controllers are sprayed with lysol after my use.


Its a little bit annoying, but he doesn't want to get sick which is understandable.

White Horse by Taylor Swift

I really like this one. It was on Grey's Anatomy and on her myspace blog she says that when she got the call she was jumping up and down and crying and hugging random people in the hotel lobby and that the she's basically obsessed with the show. Me too, Taylor. She also said she had a afro as a baby, me too.

Anyway, give it a listen, its quite good.



I love the simplicity of it.

This is my favorite part of the weekend...

The moment where all school-related stuff is done (okay-MOST of it) and you sit down and turn your computer and are ready to have some fun - even though your weekend was amazing enough already. I love this moment - its like all the wieght is gone and you can just begin to wonder about the week ahead.

My weekend was so great. Saturday we drove up and met my friend at her aunt's house and spent the day outside just laying on blankets freezing our asses off. Then we went for a dinner/lunch type meal and then saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It was amazing. GO SEE IT!!! When we got home, we made a camp fire, and just sat outside with our fronts warm and backs cold (it was like 45 degrees) until like 11pm. Then we went in their hottub and made cocoa and went back ot the fire and then we played football under just the light of the stars at like 1 am. Sunday morning we packed up and I proceded to do nothing but schoolwork.

Now I'm here, blissfully happy for the first time in a long time. I have pics. Will post later.

Oh-and my cold is finally gone!!!

This is Scary

This whole economy thing. It makes me head hurt and I am so scared about the future.

Not only for me, but for all the younger people and the people not born yet. I'm scared for them.

This is all confusing and I just really think that the bailout bill was not the answer. Each individual company is responsible for their own actions.

Anyway....I'm scared and you probably should be also.

Did you watch the VP Debate? WOW is all I have to say.

The news just said that 91% favored Biden as President of Palin.