I realized that nothing can change the past and that I'm going to hurt and hurt often. But I will continue to live and be a person. Nothing can change the fact that one of my best friends died. I've accepted it in my head but my heart hasn't and maybe never will. Maybe I'll never have all of me accept it. I don't think its possible.
I think i've completed the whole 5 steps of greiving. And I'm going to live because she can't because I know she knows that the eight months I spent......well, you know.
In other news, the whole learning guitar is going amazingly. I can play "Fearless" by Taylor Swift....like great song. Amazing. If you haven't heard it...go listen. And find an acoutic version.
I think what I love most about the song is the fact that love is fearless. Its being with someone who makes you feel fearless. Its dancing in the rain and first kisses that are fearless. Driving down the road and feeling fearless just because of the guy who's driving you. Besides, what's life if you are fearless?