Blissful...

For the first time in a long time I can think to myself and say "I am more than happy."

Happy Thanksgving.

And tonight, I have so many things to be thankfull for. So much to bless.

Thank you, life. These last few months have been a complete struggle. Some days I didn't know if I would even be getting out of bed, or even showing a sign of life. Sure, there's always the hard days, but its gotten better.

The icing has been put on the cake, and I jsut have to find the fork and starting eating.

Disney's been great. My family's been amazing. Its so easy to get right back into the schedual my mom has and kid wrangling is hard...but you get used to it straight away. I sure did not miss diapers.

I'll post pics and stuff in a few days when I get home on Sunday.

Oh...btw I have yet to see Twilight *cries* and am dying. It made 70 Mill openining weekend, so thats a lot...and I heard it was SPECTACULAR!!!

Listening to: Love Story - Taylor Swift

I'm such a horrible procrastinator...

We leave in the morning and I have yet to even pack. We're driving and I'm afraid we're going to get lost and end up in Hickville, Tennessee or something. But it'll be fun. A week with my family and a two day car ride to Florida.

So...packing tonight. I take forever to pack, so this should be fun. Ethan's driving the first part of the day and I'm going to sleep and stay up all night, then we'll switch so he can sleep. Hopefully, getting there sometime Friday night.

Don't expect to hear from me until December. Have a Happy Turkey Day and lovely day of Black Friday Shopping Bliss which I won't be a part of.

I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve. I can't wait to see my family. I miss them too much for words. AND Twilight on Friday! -probably won't see it until I get back :(

Oh...the blogged is getting re-vamped when I get back. New layout, new It-Girl, new music!

See you in a week!

I got my haircut and colored

and I love it. First time I've ever loved my hair.

I got it perma-straigtened until my hair gets long enought to look good curly.

Its shoulder length, a long bob almost. I have long layers and my bangs go to the end of my nose, so I'm waiting for them to grow out more. Don't ever get bangs. Its adorable. I love it. I look like a different person.

I love when you hair gets cut and it feels light and breezy and fresh...then you wash it and it feels all wierd.

Color wise, I went two shades lighter and two shades darker and a dark red.

I LOVELOVELOVE it. My mom and my younger sister that's closest in age to me love it. Other people don't though....coughethancough. He say's that I don't look like me and that he loves my hair...

whatever...I can still curl it on special occaisons.

Listening to - We Love You Conrad - ByeBye Birdie --reliving 9th grade.

Maybe its wishful thinking, maybe its FEARLESS.

Yesterday afternoon I recieved my "Fearless" boxset. It has a a box, obv, and a tee shirt that is a little big on me, the CD, a bumper sticker, a bracelet that is black and says "fearless" in silver, a photo album, a print of Taylor underwater, and the mosiac. I've got to be missing something

It's an early Christmas present, so thanks, Ethan..I love it (and you)! And I was like a little kid on Christmas opening it up.

I do think there are too many sad/break up songs on the album. But overall, it is amazing.

Listen to these songs...I'm posting them too.




This is The Best Day...she wrote it for her for her mom. I listened to it for the first time and cried. Cried because I miss my mom and because every thing in that song could be applied to me. Listen to it...it migh just be my favorite one on the album.



This is Fifteen. She wrote it about her and her best friend Abigail's freshman year. I love this one. I've been there, we all have.



This is Hey Stephen. I love it. Greatly written.

Also take a listen to Fearless (with is posted about) and White Horse (which I also posted about).

I think Fearless, Fifteen, The Best Day, and Hey Stephen have the best shots at being successful singles. So go buy it, it is out right now.

Yes We DID!!!

Things have changed. Yes, we did. America has spoken, Barack Obama is going to be the next president of the USA.

Last night, with a majority of the people of the United States, I watched the election night results with a fast-beating heart, sweating probably more than usual and shaking all out of the anticipation which all ended with hearing the newscaster (I forget who I was watching at the time) said that Barack Obama is the 44th President Elect of the United States of America.
Now, I'm going to tell a short little story here. Last summer - not this past one, I was reading an article on him I think in the NY Times (not positive it's that one). It was about him and it basically said to watch him. So, this past year I've watched him in this election and remembered the name.
Anyway....last night I spent practically in 4 different places. Talking to my bfl, Kate while Im-ing friends in Cali and elsewhere, watching the news (4 different channels) and on a certain forum. At 10:30, I went to my room to change into my pajamas, having shut down the laptop, to find Ethan wide awake watching the news in there. He looked at me, and in an instant I swear we read each other's minds. We (me, Ethan and Tobie) sat, for the next 25 minutes, hand in hand, watching MSNBC. We knew then that there was no way for McCain to come back from behind that far...Obama had it we just needed it to be official...No counting chickens before they hatch or something like that.

Anyway...Kate is on speaker phone through my cell and Ethan and Tobie's mom was on speaker from Tobie's cell. At 11:05 when Charles Gibson said that Barack is the President Elect of the United States there was cheers, there was sneaking back out the kitchen to steal champagne, Kate was crying from happiness, Tobie was mad, and there was cursing from both happiness and anger.

McCain's Concession Speech was exactly what I thought it would be. I liked that he shushed the Obama-booing.

Obama's speech was amazing. It moved me to tears...I honestly never thought that would happening.

I finally went to sleep at 2:30 Am...I wish we did head to Times Square (or even Chicago). Some of my friends were there - in Times Square and apparently the energy was overwhelming.

So thats that...America will never be the same...and thats an amazing thing. Congratulations Barack Obama and everyone who made this possible. Thank you. I am proud to be an American.

....on a side note...I walked around all day with this big grin all day.

HAHA - I'm watching TRL and they have then the Campaign Summary in 60 seconds and its hilarous....watch it if you have the chance.

currently listening to: Change by Taylor Swift <-it fits the mood.

5 Months

Since Kelli left this world. Thats how I phrase it now. I miss her. Today was a tough morning, and day...but we got through it. We spent the night at my friends aunts house after all the Halloween festivities.

All in all...it was a good weekened so far.

So...goodnight.

Happy Day of The Dead (or Dia del Muertos)

Those roads in your head

You know those two roads in your head? The one you've been on forever that you know like the back of your hand and everything is there and its all good there and nothing bad can happen?

Thats the road of Happyness. (I spell it like that ever since I saw the movie)

You know the other path? That dark small alleyway which is scary as hell and everything in it is bad, but there still is some like coming from the main street that is the road of Happyness.

I am on the second of the two. The dark road...and for once, I don't know how to get out of it. I feel it all just slipping away: my friends, my family, my life, my dreams, my future...gone. Sure they're not gone gone, but it sort of how I'm feeling. And I don't know how thats happening.

I don't even sound/look/feel/think/act the same. Ethan thinks so too, but differently, he says that my eyes have gotten duller in the fact that in general I'm not as happy as I used to be. If you took the me from 18 months ago and the me now we wouldn't be recognizable. That scares the hell out of me.

I mean, in ways, I've gotten older and more mature, but along the way I've lost a tad bit of my youth and sanity.

That was long...and somehow someday I will get back on this right path. It will happen. I was just getting back to me and I've slipped out somehow.....how did this happen?

In other new, I added my "It" girl on the side bar. Its Taylor Swift...and the reasons its her are listed.

Currently Listening Too: You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

*Obsessed much?*

Making Music

My cello came back the other day from getting repaired, and it looks amazing. Back when I moved this summer, the idiot movers broke it (snapped the neck - not all the way - and some other damages...so its been in repair for awhile now). Ofcourse, I had to play it....I spent a good 3 hours just going through my old faves and playing some news stuff along with my ipod. I tried taking a melody of a song and trying to recreate it...I worked on Fearless by Taylor Swift and some All Time Low stuff. It sounded pretty good.

I just felt at home with my baby. Like the months we were apart didn't exsist and it was just pure comfort. I love the feeling of my fingers on the strings and sound of a rosin-covered bow along the silver strings. When I'm out tommarow, I'm picking up some music books so I have more to work with. I think I'm going to go back to the classics, so if anyone has any suggestions that would be lovely.

The only down fall of this afternoon of music is that I'll have caluses on my left hand fingers...and my right writs my hurt a tad...but its totaly worth it.

And I bought a 850$ pink fiber-glass practically bullet proof case so the whole snapping of the neck and chipping the sides won't happen ever again. I also got a pink endpin!

Bella's Lullaby--The Official One

From what I've heard there was a Hot Topic thing last night that allowed people at the stores to listen to the whole soundtrack....well, they obviously played Bella's Lullaby and I am upset. Here it is:



I honestly don't think it sounds very lullaby-ish. Sure, the quality isn't that great but it still isn't what I hoped for.

Ofcourse, I fell inlove with Yiruma's River Flows In You but thats not it either.

Anyway...26 days and I can't wait!

For once in my life, I feel like I know what to do.

Tonight/today I've made some decisions that will affect my life drastically. I'm okay with it...actually not okay...I'm sure of my decisions. I'm not going to say quite what it is yet because I'm still finalizing.

Sorry for building you all up! :(

I'm sitting here sitting talking to my family and listening to the randomness of my house and telling them my plans. Hopefully my parents won't freak out too horribly.


In other news, I lost it for the first time today. The first time in a long time. It was a bad morning...but what goes up must come down...Moods included.